Wednesday, June 07, 2006

just rambling...

I just need to ramble about some things...I guess I just need to get some feelings down. I think that Two Peas has become an addiction for me. I guess after several years of visiting nearly everyday that can happen. I am thinking about not going back. I love looking at layouts, and I love the garden, but I am not sure I like the boards so much...I wonder if I were to try, could I quit...cold turkey...no more boards? I guess maybe I'm thinking that I've wasted a lot of time there. I have learned a lot, and spent a lot of money because of wanting what others have...I have a kitchen aide mixer, a can of MSP, two unused tubes of Jergens natural glow, $50.00 worth of oooh la la candles on their way to me, a Vera bag, and countless other things I didn't need...because the other ladies there have them. Really...what is the point of all of those things?? Although---I really, really like my Vera B. bag...it's so pretty. Anyway...see...I am rambling terribly here. Ok...I think my problem with 2peas is that I substitute real relationships for time to read the boards...I don't participate too much in discussions...I don't like confrontation...so it's not like I have relationships with anyone on the boards...but I have lost a lot of real life relationships lately. My sister and I have never lived close enough to be "really close" sisters. We always have lived in different towns. We are close when we have time to talk, and we talk and talk and talk...and it's wonderful...but lately things are different. Maybe it's because she is getting ready to have her third child, and we are having such a difficult time having another one. She said once that she wanted to give me space, but she has really been avoiding me lately. We haven't talked in weeks, and I miss her. I am excited about her new baby. Yes, it hurts a little, but I am a big girl, and I can deal with it. I can't wait to hold her new sweet baby girl...I just can't wait. Anyway, I am going to try and call her tomorrow...and I am going to try to stay away from 2peas. The other relationship that I miss so much is my friend Terry. I moved offices, and I don't see her everyday anymore. She is one of the wisest persons (is that correct grammar/spelling/?) I know. She is also so kind and so generous. I miss her. I also miss my friend Pam. I was a terrible friend, and we almost have lost contact...I miss her. I also miss my friend Anita. She and I have been friends since 6th grade...and I haven't heard from her in months either. Gosh...where have they gone...where have I gone?? I need to send some cards...some emails...something...to tell these girls that I love and miss them. I am going to do it...instead of pea-ing...I am going to try.

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