I am a daughter of the Most High God!

I am feeling some changes already since trying to get healthy!  Isn't that amazing?  It's only been 6 days, but I feel so much better already.  I am still a little tired in the afternoon and evening, but that seems to be improving too!  I feel like my skin is looking better, and I am feeling a lot less "puffy".  I am not sure if this has anything to do with anything, but I am feeling differently about my depression.  I think that I have self-medicated my depression with food for so many years that I am a little more sensitive or emotional.  I don't feel more depressed, though, I actually feel like that is better.  I think since I was pregnant with Claire my depression has worsened to the point of "not" feeling anything sometimes when I would normally have an emotional response.  I've changed a lot this week.  I know that it seems like a short time, but the days have been so long for me.  I've done a lot of thinking this week, about where I want to go on this journey, about how I am going to get there, and I think the most important thing I've been trying to concentrate on is this:

Source: http://www.ambermaybe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/positive-affirmation.jpg

Our Sunday...

Kris had to work today, and I have to confess, the kids and I missed church this morning for no good reason...so we went to the park in our town early this morning and had the whole place to ourselves.  My "plan" was to have "church" on a blanket in the park.  Katie brought her ipod so that we could listen to some praise music by Chris Tomlin, and I had planned on telling a Bible story---but a turtle stopped by for a visit and all concentration on my Bible story was lost and noone wanted to listen to praise music when all of the zoo animals were singing their morning songs!  So we decided to just enjoy the morning and everything God had created.  It was so pretty this morning, just beautiful sunshine and a warm breeze. 

The little turtle is much more interesting than Mama's version of "The Woman at the Well" Ha!



 My pretty girl!



My handsome boy!

I loved the way the sunlight was shining through Katie's curls!

Claire and I, she wasn't in the mood to have her picture taken today...she just wanted to get down and play!

Asher checking out the Caiman at the zoo.

The tortoise were out of their barn today, all three were walking around--the kids got a real kick out of this!

Other than my temporary pity party because I am in *serious* need of coffee and ice cream, we have had a pretty good day.  I am still working so hard at making good food choices, but it's difficult when we haven't been able to go grocery shopping yet.  I did get plenty of exercise at the park, we walked so much, up and down hills, all over the place!  Tomorrow Kris begins his days off, and I couldn't be happier, I miss him so very much on these long days.  It's amazing how much he helps with the kids when he's home...it helps so much!  I think tonight after we get the kids to bed we are going to catch up on our favorite show...Castle...can't wait to snuggle up to Kris and just rest a little bit!

struggling...

Um...I am struggling right now.  This is Kris's 3rd day of work (he works 12 hour shifts) and normally I am just pooped from having the kids by myself by his 3rd day, but I feel more tired, agitated and discouraged than usual.  I wonder if the reason that I can feel these things so much more is because I'm not stuffing them down with food?  Ice cream can heal every hurt, every disappointment, right?  Normally I would be sitting at the computer with what looked like an iced tea or cup of water, but what was secretly an ice cream and milk float (and sometimes I would have a refill).  Today I am not, today I really do have my water cup, and my Jesus...my cheerleader...I can get through this.

My biggest cheerleader!

I have been thinking a lot about this healthy living business...and I DO mean A LOT...it's been constantly in the forefront of my mind for these past few days.  I have prayed about it, looked for recipes, talked to people about it, thought about every single thing I've put in my mouth. I have to say that honestly I have been pretty wiped out by late afternoon/early evening, both physically and mentally.  I think there are probably a lot of reasons, lack of caffeine, total change of what is going into my body, maybe the exercise and over-thinking everything.  Yesterday and today I felt just a *tiny* bit discouraged by evening time but I have not given into temptation to eat like I usually do when I feel this way.  I have to confess there were some times when I would have a bowl of ice cream with the family after dinner, and then have another couple of scoops after everyone went to bed.  I feel so good about these changes I have made, and I just need to remind myself that I have the best, most amazing cheerleader on my side...my heavenly father!  I can't imagine Jesus in a cheerleading uniform, but I can see him waving pom-poms or palm branches for me...saying, " I love you---just keep going---you can do this!" Isn't that the most incredible thing?  He loves me.  He loves me.  He loves ME! 

I wanted to share a picture of what I tried for dinner tonight.  We were planning to have chicken fajitas, and normally I marinate the chicken in the oil/water/seasoning mixture, then pour all of that into the pan to cook, and top it with cheddar, sour cream, and salsa in a fajita size or soft taco size flour tortilla.  Today I decided to step out of my comfort zone and change it up quite a bit.  Tonight I marinated the chicken in water/seasonings, and then cooked the chicken and peppers and onions in olive oil.  I used lettuce leaves as my shell, and topped them with fresh salsa, plain Greek yogurt, and less than 1/2 serving of 2% Mexican cheese blend.  It was SO good!  I am just stinkin' excited about how good these were!  (Please excuse my 1990's dishes...I've had them since I was 16, and I just can't bear to part with them!  My mom bought me 16 (yes sixteen---you read that right) place settings of this Corelle Forever Yours pattern, and it stayed in my hope chest from 1990-ish until 1998 when I got married!)

Anyway, I am still hopeful, and normally I've already kind of fallen off the wagon by this stage.  I feel like my energy will increase when my body gets used to these changes. Speaking of changes, today I got on my bike, with the babies in the trailer and rode up and down my street a couple times (just to make sure I wouldn't drop dead or crash into something-it's been so long!) I also went for a walk tonight, because I hadn't gotten in my walk this morning.  I even jogged a few yards here and there (because it was dark, and I was sure noone would see me...ha!)  I know I just need to keep going and listening to my cheerleader!



Just keep going!

Whew...today has been a busy day so far, and it's not over!  This morning I got Katie up and off to school, and Kris off to work.  I didn't have any breakfast until my friend Stephanie came over.  She fixed me the most yummy green smoothie...it was so good!  I took a quick picture of the ingredients before she put it all together.  It's rice milk, whey protein powder, blueberries, banana, and lots and lots of baby spinach.  I know the spinach sounds gross, but honestly, you can't even taste it...it was so good.  I added ice to mine, because I just like things super cold.  I had a little leftover and froze it for an afternoon snack.

After we had our smoothies we went for a quick 20 minute walk.  I have to say that it's much easier to take my walk without kids than with them...getting them all drinks, sunscreened, and bathroomed before going anywhere wears me out!  After that we all headed out for Katie's track and field day.  She got first place in her relay race!  She didn't do so hot in the sack race...I think because she's so tall the sack barely comes over her knees...ha!  After that the school hosted a picnic with hotdogs, hamburgers, chips, cookies and pop...yikes...my first out-of-home challenge.  I decided the best thing might be to just eat a grilled hamburger patty by itself, no bun, cheese, chips, or cookies, and I have to tell you, it was really yummy!  I have hope...that even in places where I do not have my own food choices, I can still do this!  I just have to keep going!  I saw a quote on pinterest from Happy Little Art that really kind of motivated me and I wanted to share it here:

Put one foot in front of the other...

I just finished my walk for this morning...yay me!  I walked for 30 minutes at a moderate pace...it's a start!  I feel good that I got that in this morning!  My legs are twitching...ha...they are wondering what the heck is going on this early in the morning!  One of my bad habits that I want to change is my morning coffee routine.  Morning coffee on it's own doesn't sound too unhealthy, but I usually skip breakfast (and sometimes even lunch) because I drink it all morning, with french vanilla creamer.  Sometimes I'll have 2 cups, sometimes 3 or 4, I know that having breakfast and a huge glass of water would be much better. So...I am going to try and have a little breakfast now...blueberry/banana honey bunches of oats cereal with milk and my big glass of ice water and I am going to read Romans, chapter 12.  I am excited and ready for this change in my life!

My tools...shoes, water, Bible, and medication!

 

Update:  I wanted to update on how we are doing today.  We are just starting with some small changes with our food, to use up the groceries we have before buying more whole foods because we are on a really tight budget.  Today I've had my cereal with milk for breakfast, a slice of oat bran bread with 1/4 serving of Nutella for a morning snack, Turkey Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato Sandwich on oat bran bread with miracle whip (bad-I know) for lunch.  I made a huge salad for dinner tonight...it looks so very good! 

Just one more quick update:  The salad was so good, and I am encouraged that I CAN do this!  Katie and I played catch in the back yard for quite a while, and I did a little bit of yard work, so I've stayed pretty active all day.   I actually felt pretty good all day until this evening, and I think I have just ran out of gas for the day...pretty sure it's time for bed.  I really want to keep journaling this, today seemed like a pretty long day, just thinking about healthy choices all day, and doing all of the things I usually do.  I felt more positive though, than I have in a long time...I have to keep telling myself that I am WORTH this, and God wants me to keep going!  He is my biggest cheerleader!

Tonight is the night!

Kris and I sat down together this afternoon and made a list of things we need to do to get healthy and lose weight.  Kris has about 70 pounds to lose and I have 100+ pounds to lose.  We decided that tonight is going to be our last night as big people.  When we go to bed tonight (before 10 pm) we will be starting our new life.  I know that sounds cheesy and dramatic, but we are determined to change our lives...starting right now.  We have to do this for our children, our grandchildren, and each other, but most of all for ourselves.  We want our lives to glow with the love of Christ, but so much of our light is hidden behind layers of fat, insecurity, and depression.  I don't want to live this way any longer.  I want to be free!  I feel like there are so many more ways that I could serve and give if I weren't paralized by this fat. I feel like there is a happy, enthusiastic, cheerful, kind, generous person inside of me who wants out of this body--this prison--that I have created.  I have to do this...here and now.

I wanted to share our list:

1.  Read the Bible EVERY DAY.
2.  Go to bed by 10pm or earlier.
3.  Both get our exercise in before the kids get up.
4.  Water-drink it.
5.  Make eating breakfast every day a priority.
6.  Take our vitamins every day.
7.  Blog about it...the good and the bad.
8.  Eat whole foods as much as possible, avoiding chemicals and artificial ingredients.
9.  Find ways to fit in small bits of exercise each day, playing with kids, gardening, yard work.


And (boldly) I would like to share our official "Before" picture as a couple that we took this evening, and a photo that Katie took of Claire and I on Sunday before church. We will be adding "During" pictures as we go along...we can do this...I know we can!

I wanted to add that today would have been my Grandma's 99th birthday if she were here today.  I miss you so much Grandma!  Maybe this little nudge to get healthy is heaven-sent from her.  Love you, Grandma, so very much.

Birthdays!

We celebrated Katie and Asher's birthdays this past week!  Just wanted to post a few pictures!

 Asher had a little birthday lunch on his actual birthday, with his friends Evan and Sadee!  We had his favorite meal, corndogs and corn! Ha!

 He was excited to get a "Cars" Wal-Mart truck---just like Daddy's work!  It's hard for me to believe my sweet baby boy is 4 years old...time has gone by so quickly!

 On Katie's birthday, we had a little ocean cake, and she was so excited to get a "Soul Surfer" tee and devotional book!  She loved that movie!  We went out to eat at El Pueblito and had a tiny shopping trip to Cato to get a few things for her.

 Look at this pretty girl...I am amazed at how she is growing up!

Asher finishing up the ocean punch at Katie's party with friends!

 Katie with her ocean cake!

Katie had some girl friends over to watch Soul Surfer and celebrate her birthday.  I think they had a fun time, and Katie was excited to have all of them here. 

I just feel so very blessed to have these two (and Claire too!)...God sure has blessed us!  We could never have imagined how our family would grow like it has...we are amazed every day that we have THREE kids!  God's love and timing is perfect, and we just feel overwhelmed with the love He has for us!  Thank you, Lord, for all of the blessings in our life!

A fresh new look!

I am so excited!  I found a GREAT tutorial on creating headers/banners for blogs using Picasa.  The instructions are step-by-step and so easy to follow!  I love this new look, and I'm so excited to create more!  I can just imagine ones for the seasons, holidays, birthdays, you-name-it!  Yay!  Thank you Sarah for the amazing tutorial!

Hi.  This morning I was again resisting the holy spirit beckoning me to come read the Bible.  I pinned some things, changed some diapers, picked up dishes, everything else but read the bible!  Finally, I picked up the Bible...the scripture that God lead me to this morning was so comforting to me...I just had to share it.  I have been so burdened by guilt, which I know is not of God. These are the verses I stumbled upon this morning, just by randomly opening my Bible:

1 John 3:19-20...This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us.  For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

In my study Bible it says this:  An oversensitive conscience can be quieted by the knowledge that God himself has declared active love to be an evidence of salvation.  He knows the hearts of all-whether, in spite of our shortcomings, they have been born of him.

I just have to trust in Him, trust that he loves me, even when I fall short, even when I make mistakes, knowing that my salvation is by faith and grace. 

Snuggling into His Feathers...

Photo from thepointandshootist.com

Psalm 91:1, 2, &4

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." He will cover you  with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge...

This morning I woke up so weary from this week.  It has been a really difficult one for too many reasons to go into here. My heart was heavy, my mind was tired, and sleep had evaded me all week.  I was picking up toys and laundry and shoes like I do almost every morning, and I felt the presence of the Lord, urging me to come and sit with Him.  I made the excuse of "right after I pick up the bathroom" and again felt almost a persistent invitation to leave the bathroom as it was and pick up the Bible instead.  I was lead to read Psalm 91, and it brought so much comfort to me.  We have a heavenly father that loves us more than we could ever imagine.  Even when we fall short, even when we completely fail, he loves us.  I am so very thankful for this...just so thankful.  Thank you Lord, for loving me with your everlasting love.

Baby Claire is ONE!

Claire, you are ONE-derful! Happy Birthday! We love you so very much! I can't believe a whole year has gone by since we first held you in our arms! You are uniquely you, but you remind us a lot of your big sister and brother! You seem to have a calmer personality than they did, probably because you're constantly watching everyone's every move (probably learning what "not" to do--ha!) You are an amazing baby, just a joy to have in our lives...we are so thankful for you, baby Nugget!

Owl-a-palooza!

I have been crafting like a crazy person to get ready for Claire's first birthday!  Just wanted to share some of her decorations, will post more of her big day!  All of these ideas were inspired by ideas on Pinterest which I am so, so, so hooked on!

Owl's with M&M's in their belly!

I made a little trio of paper lantern owls, this is the baby!

Owl beanbags for a beanbag toss game!

Owl Treat Bags!

A few of the goodies all together, can't wait to see it all together for her special day!

 

Valentine's Day!

We had a "sweet" Valentine's Day, complete with sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies and chocolate!  Kris made reservations for us at a local steak house, it was so good, and the little break was so needed!  It was so nice to sneak away for a little date night!  I feel so blessed to have all four of my beautiful Valentine's...Kris, Katie, Asher, and Sweet Claire, I love you all so very much!

Scents that remind me of things...

Weird title, I guess...but I wanted to write these down so I don't forget...I just used the last teeny tiny little bit of my Bath and Body Works Black Amythyst, which is the scent that my sister got me for my time in the hospital of having Claire, almost a year ago.  Forever and ever, that scent will remind me of her birth, that amazing day, how beautiful and perfect she was, how blessed we felt to have THREE children! 

With Asher, his Bath and Body Works scent was Peach, that Jill and Megan brought to me in the hospital when he was born.  He was such a sweet baby boy, so much smaller than our girls, all bundled in his fresh baby blue.  That scent will remind me of his sweet little tiny self...so fresh from God.

And Katie...well...hers is a story...her scent is Mandarin, also from Bath and Body Works.  With Katie being our first child, and our plan to be induced (because she was 9 days late and already weighed 9lb 2oz!), I had planned in my head that we would have a nice relaxing period of time in the hospital before she was born...ha!  I had bought everything in that line of fragrance, from lotions to foot products, thinking Kris could rub my feet, give me massages, etc while we waited on our precious bundle.  From the moment we walked in to the hospital, it was just a flurry of activity, and then constant labor after the cervadil was given, so the idea of using all of that relaxing stuff was out the window!  I still have beautiful memories of that day, though, and the scent of mandarin takes me right back to the moment of holding our first beautiful child for the first time.

These might be silly stories, but they are so important, I just don't want to forget them.

a thankful heart

Just a little thankful list for this morning...

thankful for the little bitty white sock with turquoise trim that I found under the couch...and the little foot that goes in it :)
thankful for Chris Tomlin...to quietly worship with
thankful for my sister, Crystal, to talk with, cry with, and giggle with
thankful for the big size 10.5 boots I just put away, and Katie's giant feet that go in them:)
thankful for ingredients for chocolate chip cookies
thankful for the sunshine
thankful that my sweet boy was dry all through church today
thankful for coffee
thankful for clean laundry (tons of it, that desperately needs folding)
thankful for the cross, that paid my way to heaven someday...

Where does the time go?

It has been forever since I have posted and I can't seem to get words together this evening...so maybe just some pictures at least...

Simple blessings...

I just have so many things I'm thankful for this afternoon...can I share some of them? 

• It's cool here today, 59 right now, with a low of 49 tonight...brrr...and I couldn't be happier!
• Our house smells like barbeque that's been simmering in the crock pot all day...yum!
• My Asher was just eating his cup of yogurt and randomly decided to tell me he loves me...melts me!
• In just a few minutes Kris and Katie will be home, and all five of us will be together under one roof...I just feel better when we're all home together.
• Our beautiful little Claire is taking a really nice nap, giving me a few minutes to brew some decaf and blog a little.
• I have a candle burning...Autumn Leaves by Yankee...I just love fall scents and the flickery light of a candle burning!
• I spent the morning with good friends, drinking coffee and sharing our lives together...it always invigorates me to spend time with all of them...I am so blessed to have them.
• I paid bills this afternoon, and I'm so thankful Kris has a job...it's not glamorous, and we don't have a lot of money leftover, but we are so blessed that he has it.
• I am so thankful for my savior, Jesus, who paid the price for my sins.  I feel overwhelmed sometimes when I think about him. I am reminded that even if I was the only person on earth, he still would have suffered and died for me alone.

Piggies and our Saturday...

We put little pig tails in Claire's hair today, and OH-MY-GOODNESS...she just looked so stinking cute!  I can't belive how big she looks in this picture!  She is sitting up pretty well now, and I think she just grew up over night!

Today Kris worked, so the kids and I just hung out here at home. Asher wasn't feeling great for the first part of the day, and he still doesn't seem himself this evening, but he doesn't have a fever, so that's a blessing.  Katie and Asher did pretty well today with not fussing with each other, so we drove down to the Redbox and rented Tangled for them this afternoon.  We also stopped in at McD's to get shakes, yum!   It was a really good day, and will be even better when Daddy drives in the driveway!

The beginning of the "ber" months (as my sister says!)

Yay!  It's September 1st!  It's 100+ degrees today, but there is the hope of cooler days ahead!  I haven't been blogging so well.  We've been doing major house projects, and it's hard to find time to sit down and think about blogging.  We have the flooring in the living and dining rooms done, and our furniture came, so things are really looking nice!  We still have the floors and cabinets in the kitchen, and the hallway floors to go, but we're getting there!  I am really looking forward to lighting the first fire in the fireplace and hopefully just sitting and enjoying it! 

The kids are doing really well.  Katie just started the 6th grade!  It seems impossible that this is her last year of grade school, her last year to wear a uniform.  She looked so cute on her first day with her new shoes and bag...they are so "her"...colorful and happy and a little on the wild side.  She's really been trying to "spread her wings" and it's difficult for me sometimes, but I know she needs to be able to use her own ideas and think for herself.  She loves the Lord, of that I'm sure.

Asher is just growing so much, he talks and talks and talks!  One of his favorite things is helping me...he loves to just do whatever I'm doing.  He is such a good big brother, he truly loves Claire.  I can just see it in his eyes when he is talking to her or sees her after they have been apart.  I pray they are always this close. 

Claire is such a joy...she is just beautiful and is also growing so fast.  We took her for her 6 month check up and she weighs 22 lbs and is 27" tall!  She is our little chunky monkey!  She is almost able to sit alone, and has been trying cereal, peas, sweet potatoes, and apples.  She loved the apples the most.  She is so smiley and giggly, and we just love her. 

We feel so blessed to have our kids!  I know I've said it before, but it's amazing what God can do!