Lately...

Lately I've been worrying about our finances.  That is part of the reason I haven't blogged.  I have been just too busy worrying, and trying to figure out ways to make money for our family.  We had a garage sale.  I sold a lot of things I didn't really want to sell.  I have tried selling clothing and scrapbooking items on Ebay, only to have undercharged for shipping, therefore losing money (Ugh.)  I have been reading and listening to tutorials about extreme couponing (Double Ugh.)  I have been looking on Etsy to see if there is anything that I can make and sell.  I have listed our bedroom furniture on Craigslist.  I have been praying for Kris to have the desire to sell his boat.  I have been thinking about part time and full time jobs.  I have been thinking about things around our home that I can sell.  I've been completely obsessed with finding money.  Now that I've listed these all out, I feel even more silly.  Is making a few extra dollars more important than having a relationship with Jesus?  Does our checkbook being balanced and being secure in that compare to being completely secure in Jesus?  Is spending hours trying to "find money" by rearranging our budget and refiguring our bills a dozen times worth not spending that time being a Mama to my precious children or a Wife to my husband or even more importantly reading the Bible? 

As I was scrubbing the kitchen floor tonight, my mind completely preoccupied with having some "control" over *something* (the kitchen floor's cleanliness) I realized that the Lord has really been working on me lately about the control stuff and the perfection stuff and the finance stuff.  I wonder if those are three things he would like to cleanse and free me from if I would allow him?  As I was thinking about this and scrubbing away, the Lord reminded me of the passage about worrying and His provision:
Matthew 6:25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Lord, Thank you for you, for your sacrifice, for your son's death for my salvation.  Thank you for my beautiful children, thank you for everything you've given me.  Lord, I want to pray right now for you to free me from my worry, from my control issues, and from my lack of faith.  Please, Lord, just cleanse me.  I love you, Lord.  I pray all of these things in Your Precious Name, Amen.