Held

Once again, God knows what I need, exactly when I need it. I want to share the devotion for today from Proverbs 31 ministries:

August 7, 2008

Held
Tracie Miles

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.” Psalm 18:16 (NIV)

Devotion:
When my daughter was just a toddler, I would frequently ask her, “Do you want me to hold you?” She would promptly nod and lift up her arms. Even though her vocabulary was limited, she soon learned that anytime she wanted to be picked up, she could simply raise her arms, look at me with those big, blue eyes, and say “hold you.” It was such a precious request in her sweet little voice, and I would always oblige. Those days seem long ago, as my daughter will be starting high school this year, but these memories came to mind when I heard the song by Natalie Grant, entitled “Held.”

Years ago, my sister was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Many times since then I have found myself pleading to God for her healing, or at a minimum, for an understanding of this hardship. During one of these times of doubt and worry, the song “Held” flooded my radio speakers. The words pierced my heart, and I would pray for my sweet sister each time I heard it, as God repeatedly comforted me with Natalie’s words.

The lyrics of the song say, “Who told us we’d be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We’re asking why this happens. To us, who have died to live. It’s unfair.” You see, that is exactly how I felt. My sister loved the Lord, and I thought God should be taking better care of her. I doubted His reasons for her illness. I continually cried out to Him, questioning why she had to be sick. Why did she have to suffer? It ‘s not fair Lord!

The chorus of the song goes like this, “This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life. And you survive. This is what it is to be loved, and to know that the promise was when everything fell, we’d be held.” Through this simple song, God reassured me that His ways are not for me to understand, but I can trust that He loves my sister, His child, and is holding her close. Every time I heard that song, my heart would flutter, and I would be gently reminded that God sees her, and loves her, despite the circumstances.

Recently, her health condition worsened, and she was scheduled for a serious surgery. I left early in the morning the day of the surgery, and headed for the hospital. I was worried, and my heart was burdened. I breathed in a heavy sigh, and turned on the radio, and what was playing? “Held.” The words washed over my soul as tears came to my eyes, and a peace came over me. I knew that song was God’s way of reminding me that He was still holding her tightly in His arms. It was only then, that I knew she would be okay. After a successful surgery and twelve hours at the hospital, I got in my car to go home, and turned on the radio – you guessed it – “Held” was playing again. God was there.

If you are like me, despite our level of faith, there are times in life when we doubt if God is really watching over us or our loved ones. We question why things happen that seem unfair. We wonder what glory He could possibly derive from painful circumstances.

It takes great faith to believe that God does understand, and He wants us to know that He is always there. A song on the radio, a note from a loved one, a smile from a stranger, a powerful sermon, an applicable Bible verse. God could use any method to reassure us of His love, and His omnipotence, and His desire is to hold you and me close to His heart. We merely need to raise up our arms, look into His eyes, and say “hold you”. He will.

Dear Lord, my heart is so burdened with worry for my loved ones. Please pull me into Your presence, and help me to feel Your arms around me. Forgive me for my doubts and lack of faith. Please help me to see how You are holding those who are hurting, and continue to reassure me of your sovereignty. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Squeaky clean and lego-mania!

Our little guy just loves his routine. He has been sleeping all night since he was about 7 or 8 weeks old, and I think it's because of his warm bath each evening. He loves the bath, and just kicks his feet like crazy.

Katie has been going LEGO crazy lately. Kris picked up a HUGE tote full of Legos at a garage sale this weekend, and she has been just building non-stop. She's been having so much fun with them!

My boys...

I love these two pictures of my favorite two boys in the world! Asher is just a little tiny version of Kris, from the top of his (bald) head to the tips of his fingers!

Blessed.

Tuesday and Wednesday were really difficult days for me. Today is going to be better. I think I am starting to get a new perspective of what I am supposed to do about working/staying home, etc. I am still praying that God will guide me, and give me the strength and courage to do his will. I am so incredibly blessed to have that blonde haired super smiley beautiful girl, Katie, and my sweet cuddly blue eyed handsome boy Asher. I couldn't ask for a more supportive and loving husband...I think I have all I really need right there in those three people. I love them so much. I am blessed.

Asher's first day of school.

Asher started daycare today. I remember when Katie went, even when she was tiny, she called it "school". It was a difficult day for me. I had a meeting in Pittsburg and cried almost all the way there. Then I cried almost all the way home. I think the people at the daycare thought I was a nut, but I couldn't help it. I was just overcome with grief. Not because I didn't think they could take care of him, but because I know he needs me, his mom, the most. I am just overwhelmed by confusion, really, because I don't understand God's plan for us. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Tonight I prayed for God to just come and sit with me for a while, and give me some kind of comfort, but he didn't come, I never felt his presence. I wasn't even asking for "my way" this time, just for him to be there with me. I don't understand, really, I just don't understand. O Lord, please just come and hold me. I need you and I need comfort and hope. It's just been a rough day.

Sometimes he just has to spell it out for us.

I have been praying for God to "just send me an email" so I can understand his will for me. I've joked that I just need a neon sign, a phone call, anything so I can just ask him what to do. Today this devotion was in my inbox. There could have been no more perfect devotion for me than this. I have been struggling so incredibly much with trusting God. I have just been a mess. I have been angry with him, I have been depressed, I have been completely overcome with sadness at the thought of leaving Asher in daycare, figuring out our financial difficulties, and with family problems. Today I called Noah's where Katie "grew-up" and they had an opening. They usually have a waiting list, so I called back and asked if Asher could have the opening. His first day is tomorrow. It is breaking my heart that my own financial mistakes are standing in the way of him spending his days with me, but I am going to try to keep waiting on the Lord, trusting Him, and obeying Him...something will work out. Please, O Lord, help me to trust you, and keep loving you even when my heart is breaking.

July 28, 2008

Attention: This is Only a Test
Micca Monda Campbell

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Luke 12:34 (NIV)

Devotion:
Say the word “test” and most people cringe. That’s because tests bring undue stress and pressure that we’d rather live without. Nonetheless, tests have many purposes. They analyze our intelligence or skill; determine what we have learned, and reveal who we are. Then there are spiritual tests. They often try our faith and commitment to God.

Remember the story of Abraham and his beloved son, Isaac, found in Genesis chapter 22? Pause to read it if you haven’t. Through Isaac God was going to build a nation! Can you imagine the pride Abraham must have had for his son? Nothing makes me prouder than to see one of my children succeed, and Abraham knew God had great plans for his son. What on earth could go wrong—especially with a promised child?

You and I both know a lot can go wrong. We’ve probably stood in Abraham’s sandals once or twice in our life times too. And like Abraham, we’ve clung to the promises of God. Yet, sickness lingers, financial troubles invade, friends betray us, and eventually death calls. How do we respond?

Abraham responded with great love, trust, and commitment when God asked for his only son to be sacrificed. Don’t think it was easy for him. Just because you and I know the outcome of the story doesn’t mean Abraham did. He had to trust God every step of the way. Abraham’s mind must have been plagued with thoughts such as, “This doesn’t make sense, Lord.” “You promised, Lord.” “Help me, Lord.”

Determined to obey God no matter the cost, Abraham prepared to take his son’s life. In that dramatic moment, and just in the nick of time, God called from heaven and released both the child and Abraham from the test.

It was only a test. God never wanted the death of Isaac. He wanted the surrendered heart of Abraham. Just as God planned, the test revealed Abraham’s undying love and commitment to God. I believe that Abraham’s faith was expanded too that day in the sufficiency and care of his loving Father.

Unfortunately, this is an area God will always test you and me. More than anything God wants our whole and committed hearts. As painful as some tests are, God is using them to grow us into all He has designed us to be. When our trials don’t make sense, we can trust God. He has promised to set limits on our trials—to walk with us in the midst of them, and to bring forth good.

The question for you and me today is this. When God doesn’t behave like we think He should, when it seems like He has turned the other way and broken every promise, will we still love and trust Him?

When the pregnancy test is negative, will you still love Him? When your loved one dies, will you still love Him? When the job interview falls flat, will you still love Him? When no treatment can be found, will you still love Him?

Dear Lord, I’m guilty of chasing your blessings more than chasing after You. You are all I need. I recommit my heart to you and I will trust you in my present situation. May your will—not mine—be done, In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Swimming Party!

Katie had a Karate swim party this morning! She brought her friend, and they had a blast! Asher got to put his toes in, and I think he liked it!

Laughing

I forgot to mention that Asher started laughing yesterday! It was so stinkin' cute! I was rubbing his tummy, and touched his ribs and he started laughing out loud! Katie thought it was so funny! He's just a precious little dude! We all love him so very much!

Things get wacky when I'm not around...

1. Asher gets "three scoops" of formula in his 4 ounce bottle.
2. The laundry pile is 3 feet tall...and I'm not kidding.
3. The dish pile is 1 foot tall...not kidding about that either.
4. Taco Inn becomes the daily menu.
5. Stargate Atlantis marathons run continuously.

I have gone back to work, and things are just not the same without me. Kris has been doing an awesome job with the kids while I go on my home visits and to the office, but the routine, consistency, and cleanliness of our home has declined...just a little.

In all honesty, I am trying to see humor in something that actually breaks my heart. Lord, please, please, please move in our lives (before the Raith invade!)

Wait. Trust. Obey.

I am trying to wait, trust and obey. It's really hard to do those things. I so badly want to stay at home with my children, but I feel like the Lord is telling me to wait on Him, to trust Him, and to obey Him. Kris and I have decided to pray continually until the Lord moves. I am going to be persistent, but wait, trust, and obey while I'm doing it.

Please O Lord, MOVE in our lives...today!

Something new!

These are photos of Asher's first moments in the exersaucer that we borrowed from Crystal. He liked it a lot! He is holding his head up pretty well, but was still a little wobbly.

Raq, Shaq, and Bennie!

This morning I read a few passages from the Bible, from an old sermon from Pastor Hendrix, and I said a prayer for God to reveal himself to me through his word this morning. I opened the Bible randomly, and it opened to the story about the three men who refused to worship an idol and were thrown into the firey furnace, only to be saved by an angel of God. I can't spell their names so I am referring to them in their veggie tales names (in the title). God, who is mighty and powerful, and everlasting and perfect and holy, can take care of me and my little family too. If we hold strong to our faith and belief in HIM, we can get through anything.
I meet with my supervisor today, to talk about options for me to stay at home with my children. I am really not sure what will happen. I am TRUSTING GOD with all of my heart, that HE will show me the way, and will work in our lives TODAY! Even if I need to leave my position completely, and have no job, I know he will take care of us. He is faithful and loves us more than we can imagine. Thank you, O Lord, for your care and love for us.

3 months old!

Asher is 3 months old today! It's so hard to believe that he is growing so fast! He is amazing and precious and wonderful. He is a smiling machine and he has started to giggle a little bit now and then. He has learned to blow bubbles and says "Gooooo" and "Booooo" all of the time! He kicks his legs like crazy when he is super happy about something. He has started to show a little temper and has a screachy cry when we are burping him between halves of his bottle. He is wearing 3-6 months clothing already, so he is on pace with big sister to be a BIG baby! We are all so in love with our little dude. I will post some photos this evening, I'm hoping to get some good ones this afternoon.

The Lord's Provision

I have been thinking of the way that God provides for us. We have had some tiny extra blessings lately (diapers and baby food given to us, a beautiful sunset, lots of other tiny, wonderful things) that I know are just His way of giving us sweet little kisses on our foreheads. You know the kind...the ones that we just plant on our kids' heads randomly and without a thought...just to let them know we love them? Tonight in our small group study we talked about God's provision. It seems strange to even doubt that God does not have everything we need under control. He does have it in his hands. I head back to work full time tomorrow, and I am praying that His provision will be clear and I can return home to be with my kiddos soon. Please help me trust in You, O Lord.

Veggies!

Some friends gave us some vegetables from their garden, and we are so thankful. It is amazing how vegetables taste fresh from the garden! Thanks John and Belva!

I'm no Rachel Ray, but I've got a good recipe!

Jill's Salsa

1 can shoepeg corn
15 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained
3-4 tomatoes, diced fine
1/2 c. green peppers, chopped fine
1/2 c. red onion, chopped fine
3/4 c. Italian dressing
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
3/4 tsp. chili powder
3/4 tsp. garlic powder
2 tsp. cilantro
salt and pepper

Mix all together. Let stand in fridge several hours before serving. Serve with Tostitos Scoops.

Family Photos

We've almost got it figured out (and some brags about accomplishments!)

Our sweet girl learned to ride her big bike without training wheels this week! It was amazing. She found out that daycare was going to have bike day today, and insisted that we get the bike out and try it so she could take it today. I got it out for her, and she instantly figured it out! I was shocked! So we're on the hunt for a helmet. I may check at garage sales, but we may splurge and buy one at WM for $13.96. We're going to be on the hunt for a baby bike seat too, so we can all ride together. Katie has also been swimming in the 13' water all this week at swimming lessons. She has done so well, and doesn't seem afraid of the water.

I have been working on the budget, and am within a couple hundred dollars of being able to give notice at work and become a stay at home mom. I went back to work this week, and it has been nice in some ways to be back, but I have missed the kids, and I can feel the demands and stress mounting already. Asher has had "blow-ups" (Katie's term) in his diapers all three days, and I think it's from having his routine disrupted. I have been praying for some confirmation from the Lord, I just want His blessing. I know he has plans for us, and more than anything I want to be obedient.

Let me see if I can find some pictures from this week.

The blessings are pouring in!

I just have to post because today is PROOF that God hears our prayers! The owner/teacher of Katie's karate has agreed to let us clean the studio and mow in exchange for Katie's karate tuition!!! This is a huge almost $80/month blessing for us, and I am so happy and excited! Yay!!!

I'm laying my burdens at His feet.

On Februrary 13th I was driving to a home visit in Coffeyville, feeling my sweet baby boy moving in my belly. I cried out for help, not being able to imagine leaving him after he was born to go back to work. I heard a song by 5th avenue north, called "Love is Here" that morning, and it gave me confirmation that God was working in our lives, and that things were going to work out. Now, with just 48 hours of maternity leave left, I heard that song again this morning. It reminded me that I just need to lay these burdens at His Holy feet, and TRUST Him. So Lord, I am trusting you completely in this moment. Please, please, please let things work out for me to be home with my children. In your precious name, Amen.

Fun in the sun and Father's Day!

Katie's been cooling off in the baby pool in the back yard. Ash hasn't gone swimming yet, but he loves going outside. We had a good father's day. I love this picture of my 3 favorite people in the world!

Blessings.

Tonight I just really want to cry. Instead though, I am going to list some blessings.

We have two beautiful children.
We have a safe, comfortable home.
We have two reliable vehicles.
We have two good paying jobs.
Our daughter gets to pray in school, and sing songs about Jesus.
We have enough money for groceries.
We can pay all of our bills from month to month.

There are a lot more blessings in our life, but those are the big ones that come to mind tonight. That's all for now.

More smiles!

We've been loving these smiles from our sweet boy! They are the absolute best! We had a good weekend, we went to the lake to visit Kris's parents again...we've really been enjoying spending time there. Katie loves riding on the golf cart down to the water's edge. It's beautiful at sunset.

I am still trying to understand God's plan for me to either go back to work or somehow stay home. I have been praying (begging, actually) for Him to make a way for me to be a stay at home mom, but I know the right thing to do is to pray for His will. I know He has everything under control...I just wish I could know what the next weeks and months hold for us. I am scheduled to go back to work in July, I'm praying for something to happen between now and then to allow me to stay home. If you're reading this, and don't mind praying...please, please do.

Smiles!

We are loving the smiles from this little guy! He is amazing and so precious...we are so blessed. It's hard to believe he will be 7 weeks old on Thursday, the time has gone by so quickly. I am still praying for a miracle so that I might be able to stay at home with the kids, but so far, God seems to be leading me back to work. I plan to go back to work half days the first and second weeks of July, and then full time the third week of July. I know that God has plans for our little family, and I just keep praying for his will...deep down inside I would just rather have mine.

Family of Four...

We are a family of four. It's amazing. It's wonderful. It's four-tastic. It's also so busy! When we are home, I feel like I just feed, pump breast milk, change diapers, and do laundry and dishes. When we go out, it's like we're leaving for a year long expedition! I forgot about those amazing but crazy, busy, so-much-work-to-do things about having a new baby! We are enjoying little Asher so very much! He is an AMAZING blessing! Katie has been so great with him. She is officially on summer break now, so she has really just been a HUGE help! She doesn't complain about all of the millions of times I ask her to get things for me. She has been wonderful! She has had just a *few* jealous days, but they weren't as bad as I thought they might be.

We have been on a few little outings during the past couple weeks, just to get out of the house and do some visiting. We went to Osage Hills State Park, just to drive around and daydream about camping again someday. This past Memorial Day weekend, we went to Grand Lake, to visit Meme and Papa. We had a nice visit. Asher and Tre got a cute little visit together when we visited my sister's for Ry's birthday on Saturday. All of the kids had a good time together. I will try to upload some photos!

That's all for now...gotta talk with the little man who is looking at me and read books with the little lady!

Asher's birth story...

I hadn't had time to write down Asher's birth story, so I thought I would just do that here. I think that I need to get my calendar out, because the days in April were so crazy while we were expecting him to arrive. We had planned to be induced on April 8th, but when I went for my appointment with the doctor that day, she decided that we would wait a couple more days. She told me to go home, do lots of walking and sit on my exercise ball among "other things" (ahem...) to get labor going on my own. I went back to the doctor on Thursday, the 10th and she had me go to the hospital for a non-stress test on the baby. Everything looked fine, and I was even having contractions on my own about 3-4 minutes apart during the test. We waited for the afternoon, and doctor called and asked me to go ahead and go the the hospital to start the induction that evening. We went in, got all settled, and doctor came in and gave me the Cervadil. I had some minor contractions throughout the night, and was induced the next morning. I had contractions all day on Friday, but by late afternoon, I was still not dilated. Around 5pm, doctor came in and visited with us about our options. Because I was not dilated, I could either go home, and we would try again next week, or she could go ahead and schedule a c-section. We decided to go home. I was doing fine, Asher was fine, and a sonogram revealed that he still had plenty of fluid and room in there. Even though everyone was ok, I still felt so deflated about going home without a baby in my arms. I rested most of the rest of the weekend. I went back to the doctor on the 16th, and she decided to try the induction again. We went into the hospital around 3 pm, and started the process over again. By 1:00 on Thursday, the doctor was giving us the news that I was still not dilating, and we would need to go through with the c-section. She came in again around 4:30 and checked me one more time to see if I was making any progress. Nothing was happening, and shortly after that (and I DO mean shortly!) LOTS of people came in to prep us for surgery. Kris and I were both shocked and how quickly and efficiently all of the staff moved toward accomplishing the c-section. I was petrified---more afraid than I had ever been in my life---but it was also one of the most memorable experiences in my entire life. We had the ABSOLUTE best staff to help us through it. I remember one of the surgical staff quoting the Bible verse about God not giving us a spirit of fear, but one of courage, and I remember just feeling a calm come over me. I am sure it was partly drug induced, but I feel like Christ himself was in the room with us that evening. By 5:16 our sweet boy was out to meet us. He looked precious and perfect to me, and we could almost immediately see how much he looked like his big sister. Kris had big tears in his eyes, and was right there beside my head the entire surgery. He was so happy when Asher came out OK, and he went back upstairs with him while I went to recovery. The surgery seemed like it went so quickly, and the recovery was pretty much a sleepy blur. I was so incredibly afraid during the whole process, but I really think it strengthened me somehow. Our little guy was with us, and that was what mattered most. He was safe and healthy and wonderful.

He's finally here!

Our Asher boy finally arrived on April 17, 2008 at 5:16 pm. He weighed 8 lb 5 oz and was 21 inches long. He is precious and perfect! We are all so in love!

The countdown is on...

We have 4 days until we can hold our sweet boy in our arms! I visited the doctor this week, and she has scheduled to induce me on Tuesday, April 8th. We are all so excited to meet Asher Kenneth! Katie can't wait, she just kisses my tummy all of the time and calls him Ashy-pea and bubby.

I have so many things to do at home this weekend to get the house ready to come home to, but lately I've just had no energy. I really need to make an effort to get up early on Saturday morning and just clean, clean, clean! I want to clean out the car really well, and I want to steam clean the living room carpet. I also want to reorganize the laundry room and hall closets. I need to mop, and fold and put away all of the laundry. I need to clean our bedroom because Kris's mom will be visiting and it will be her room for a couple days. I'm kind of doubting that ALL of those things will get done...but they are goals of mine and will keep me busy while we wait! I have our bags packed, cameras ready, I think I've got it under control...but possibly not. I am SOOOOOOO nervous! I told Kris this morning that I just have major anxiety today! I think it' s because it's my last day of work for 3 months, the baby is coming, AND it's our 10 year anniversary, and I completely forgot to get a card or anything for Kris! Yikes! Ok-enough of this rambling...I am so stinking nervous!

Skipping ahead to week 38!

I visited Dr. yesterday, and she has *officially* moved my due date up to April 9th, so that means that even if I need to be induced, we will have a baby in our family by April 14th! Yay! I am so very excited! Everything is still going well, although I caught up on 4 pounds of weight gain this week--yikes! I think it was the Easter food...too many chocolate eggs! We had a nice Easter. Crystal an

d Michael and the kids came over to color eggs and have a little egg hunt on Saturday, and we went to church and I fixed an Easter dinner on Sunday with ham, hashbrown casserole, corn casserole, green beans, and Rhodes rolls. We also took our yearly picture with the big rabbit at the park-it's amazing that Katie is getting as tall as the rabbits! :o) I will have to add some pictures.

Our chubby cheeked boy...

We had our sonogram this morning, to check Asher's growth percentile. He is at 66%, and around 6.5 pounds! The sonogram calculated a due date of April 9th. He is precious---she was able to take some pictures of his face, and he looks like he has the chubbiest little cheeks...so incredibly adorable if I do say so myself! Each time I look at the pictures, I just can't believe he is OURS, and COMING SO SOON! :o) Kris is finished with his room, so now we just need to put the crib together and move him in! Yay! Things are moving along. Our sweet boy will be here before we know it!

36 weeks!

I missed my "beginning of the week" entry to talk about what week we are on...so I am trying to catch up! I went to the doctor yesterday and everything still seems to be going well. She checked to see if there is any dialation happening, and there is not...he still has a few weeks to stay though...so that's ok. She did order another sonogram to check his growth, however, because I am measuring a little small, and I've only gained a total of 8 pounds. I am not too worried about that, because he is a very strong little guy, and I am a big girl with lots of room for him without my belly poking out too far. It will be great to get another little peek at him before the big arrival. :o) I love him so much...I can't wait to see him.

My work has been VERY stressful lately, and there are some days when I do nothing but worry about going back to work after the maternity leave. I know that I shouldn't worry about that already, but my heart literally hurts when I think about leaving him. I HAVE too keep hope and faith that God will put something in place to allow me to stay at home with him. My sister has given me some ideas about possibly watching other kids in our home, and I visited with my old pal, Vickie about that too. Both of them are SAHM's by keeping other children along with theirs during the day. Kris is a little shakey about that...he's just not completly convinced that it would work for us. I don't know...I just know that I have to explore every single option. I know that God has plans for us...he's already us shown so much of what grace and amazing miracles he is capable of...and I know there are more in store...I just know it! :o)

Boiling binkys and missing my big girl...

Katie went to Kids Talent Day at Carthage Naz today, and goodness...she's been gone for 1 hour and I miss her so much...I'm sure it's some kind of crazy hormonal "mommy" stuff, but I can barely stand to be home without her. I have prayed like a million prayers for safe travel for them today...and I really just want to jump in the car and run after that little church bus...yikes...sniff.

I have decided to keep myself busy, so I am boiling binkys and a couple bottles (just in case he's not a nurser baby) and cleaning Katie's room, top to bottom. Kris went to breakfast and shed hunting with Bart this morning, so I have plenty of time to take advantage of getting tons of stuff done. I need to vacuum. I want to steam clean Katie's carpet, and the living room if I have the energy, and replace the shower curtain liner in Katie's bathroom. I also want to get all the laundry folded and put away...there's a giant pile mounting on the sofa (does anyone else have that problem-please say it's not just me!) I also need to go on a walk today if it stops raining.

We bought Asher's crib mattress and stroller at Wal-Mart last night, and the changing table pad came via UPS yesterday, so I think now we have*officially* bought everything to be ready for a baby to come live here...after Kris gets the room finished of course...just a minor detail! I am hoping to find a good deal on a bouncy jump a roo/walker thing and a high chair at garage sales this summer...those are for later on down the road. I'm looking forward to all of those wonderful baby stages so very much...just seeing those beautiful baby blue eyes on our boy will be the best thing ever...I can't wait.

I think that's all for now. I took some pictures of Katie this morning, but Kris took my camera, so I will post some later!

Giving each day to God...

This morning I was just having a rough morning. Katie and I stayed up too late last night, I woke up at 3:30 worrying about work, and I just didn't sleep well at all. I grumped at Katie a little bit, and got around late myself. I decided that I just needed to take a minute, hold Katie, and pray. I prayed that God would just take this day and make it his. I prayed for him to just come into our lives and help us through the day. I realized later that I shouldn't just do that when I'm having a bad day, but everyday...everyday should be his...

I had been doing really well with reading the Bible every morning, but I've gotten away from it the past few weeks, and I can really tell the difference...I just KNOW that I NEED Christ and His word in my life EVERY DAY...EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Hey-we've made it to 35 weeks!

We are 35 weeks along this week, and I am so relieved that it's almost over! 4 or 5 weeks to go...I am really hoping that this little guy will come a week early! I just cannot wait for him to be here...none of us can...we just want to hold and hug and kiss him! I've been feeling ok, with some contractions here and there...but nothing too exciting. I've not really had a lot of swelling yet, but I do feel sudden urges to take a nap and MANY urges to go to the ladies room!

We had our church baby shower this weekend, and it was really nice. Baby Asher is a very blessed little guy to have so many people who love him already! We received several duplicates of things we had received at last weekend's shower, so we are thinking we will do some exchanging and get his crib mattress and a couple other things we still need. The girls at our main office got me a Target gift card, so I ordered his changing table pad and a "diapee and wipee" pack from Target.com...fun stuff! :o)

Kris and Jay worked on the nursery again this weekend, and got all of the trim put up. We need to put another coat of paint on the doors, and put on the hardware, and it will be all finished and ready to move in! :o) I can't wait! I will be so glad to have his bed all set up, and his changing table organized, etc. I have been nesting like crazy, and it has been hard to be patient with his room getting done!

Katie has spring break next week, and Kris is taking the week off too...so they will hopefully get some good quality time in-just the two of them- before baby brother gets here. We're planning to make a road trip to Tulsa to the Build-A-Bear workshop on the 19th, to celebrate Katie's birthday a month early, in case Asher decides to show up on or near her actual birthday. She has requested to go to IHOP for breakfast, and we're trying to make arrangements for a friend to go with her, too...so it should be a fun day! I see Dr. on Tuesday, so hopefully she will check me and make sure things aren't "happening down there" so we can make a safe trip on Wednesday. Yay! It's hard to believe our baby is turning 8 years old...where did the time go?

34 weeks!

We're 34 weeks along this week! We only have 5 or 6 weeks to go! Our baby shower was so nice, and we have a really wonderful little supply of baby goodies now! Our church shower is this coming Sunday, and we're really looking forward to that as well--it will be so nice to have Asher's little room stocked up for his arrival! Jay and Kris worked on the nursery this weekend, it now has doors, and some trim! I think Kris is going to try and finish up the trim work and paint the doors and install door handles this weekend, then I need to steam clean the carpet, and we'll be ready to move in his crib and changing table! Yay! :o)

I wanted to share a little thing that Katie said this morning. We were driving to school and I was telling her that it was almost garage sale season. She said she wanted to wait until it was warmer to have a garage sale, because our last one was TOO COLD! She was remembering our garage sale last spring during our move and it was soooo cold that day! She remembered that she had planned to wear capri's and flip flops that day, but had thankfully found some socks to wear in the stuff we were selling, and she said (with a huge grin), "God blessed me with socks that day!" It was too cute. Just this morning-BEFORE our drive to school-I was figuring bills and remembered a sermon by Joyce Meyer about her family "believing God for their socks" and having faith that God would supply her family's needs. I am believing that God is going to supply our needs--we may not have everything we want, but He will always take care of our needs.

Our shower is tomorrow!!!

Yippy! I can't wait! My friend Anita is coming down from KC, my friend Pam is making the cake, and my friend, my sister, Crystal is putting the whole thing together! I am just so grateful! I am excited to see everyone, and so excited about getting Asher set up with the stuff he's going to need! Yay!

I will try and post some pictures tomorrow! Yay!

33 weeks!

We are at 33 weeks this week! It's getting so close. Our first baby shower is this weekend, and I am really excited about it! Asher boy is still squirming quite a bit, but I can tell that he is getting cramped in there...he pushes so hard that sometimes I think he is trying to escape! I love that feeling, but I can't wait to hold him in my arms for the first time.

I have been trying to get things caught up at work, but honestly, my heart is already home. I am still praying to be a stay at home mom. I am willing to do whatever God has for me to do, but in my own selfishness for my own family, I really want to be at home. I have to believe that He is in control, and knows the plans that He has for me. There is no other way I would get through the day without knowing down deep in my heart that God has things in his hands. There is a new song by Natalie Grant, called "In Better Hands" that I just love. I am going to see if I can find a link to it...here it is: http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/--55692603

It think that's all for today.

Exciting weekend!

I just wanted to share a few pictures from our weekend so far. Katie tested for her second orange tip on her way to the orange belt in karate. She did so well! We are so proud of her! She really listens to Master Lewis, and enjoys karate so much! They always begin each testing with prayer, and end each testing with board breaking. This is Katie's third board!

Tonight Katie and Kris went to the Daddy-Daughter Ball! Our wonderful neighbor, Kara, came over and fixed Katie's hair so beautifully! Kris bought her a wrist corsage, and she was so excited about wearing it! She looked so pretty, and Kris looked so handsome...I am such a blessed person to have those two in my life!

Asher and I are just hanging out. He is squirming around in my belly, and I'm going to tackle the "sock basket" (yikes!)

Do not fear...

http://peterwade.com/articles/wade/fearpl.shtml
Someone said that there are the words "do not fear" 365 times in the Bible, and that is one for every day of the year. I just found the article above, and it gave me some encouragement. I wanted to add it in to read through later. Today has been a very stressful day of work. I drove 160 miles, had 2 very stressful incidents, and tonight getting home from work, I snapped Kris and Katie's heads off, because of the stress of work. Not because of anything they had done, but because of my work stress. It's ironic to me that I take out my frustrations on the two people that I love the most and should be taking care of, because of the stress of taking care of other people's families. They left me here. Kris said he would take Katie out for a drive so I could finish my work. Before he left, he said, why don't you read the Bible for a little while, you'll feel better. I opened my Bible randomly (but yet by HIS plan) to Isaiah 41:10 which says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I prayed and let him hear all of my frustrations, and cried out to him, and he gave me that verse. What an amazing God HE is...the one who holds my heart.
When Kris and Katie get home, I just want to hold them, and tell them I love them so much, and ask them to forgive me.

32 weeks!

I am 32 weeks pregnant this week! Asher boy is just moving so much, and he seems to move and wake more throughout the day. Yesterday in church he was awake for the morning service and the evening service...so cute...just wiggling all over the place. I can't believe we are getting so close to the time of holding and kissing him. None of us can wait. Katie just loves him, and gives my belly hugs and kisses at random, telling her baby brother that "this is Katie and I love you, Asher" Kris talks to him, and I sing and talk to him. Katie prays for him. I can't even imagine the joy of all four of us in the hospital room together for the first time...that is a moment that I look forward to...so very much. So we have 7-8 weeks left to go if he waits for full term. In a way, I hope he comes a tad early, just to avoid a 9 pound baby, but I know that God will take care of it in his timing. On the other hand, the later he comes, the later I can stay home on maternity leave with Katie on her summer break. We are still praying for a miracle so that I can be a stay at home mama. I learned yesterday in Sunday School not to use prayer as a "last resort" but to pray first! I knew that, but somehow I guess I needed someone to give me "permission" to rely on prayer first. I know there are things we need to do to hold up the end of our financial responsibility, and we've been doing pretty good at following our budget. I know God has a plan!

Speaking of plans, Marilyn from our church Sunday School class called and wants to have a church shower for us on March 9th! Yay! I am so very excited! I know it sounds silly to be excited about "getting gifts" but I really just cannot wait! We have been so tight with our money, that I haven't just been shopping like crazy, and getting things for the baby will truly be helpful to us. I feel very grateful that we will be having baby showers...I am blessed.

31 weeks!

Wow--we are really coming in on the home stretch now--only 8 or 9 weeks to go! I am still feeling ok, but my fasting blood sugars have been a little high. Asher just keeps wiggling so much, Katie was totally cracking up watching my belly move this weekend. Just thinking about holding my sweet little guy makes me smile...

We had an ICE day yesterday, Katie didn't have school, so we got to spend an extra day together. It was nice. We had a good weekend together too. Kris and I both have commented the last few weekends that we've really been enjoying our time together. We've been staying home more, just being together. Some of our regular things we've been doing is curling up together on the couch and watching Mythbusters or Dirty Jobs from the Discovery channel. We have tons of episodes DVR'd--they are a lot of fun. We've been working on a 1000 piece puzzle for a few weeks--it's kicking our rear though--it's a hard one! Katie is the one who has found the most pieces! I don't mean to brag-but that girl of ours is SMART! She is so much more intelligent than Kris and I were at that age! She's amazing!

While writing my last post, I was really struggling with having faith and trust. I am starting to feel better about things, but I know I have a long way to go. The thing I am starting to realize is that I need to recommit myself to FULLY trusting God to meet my needs. I read this morning in the Bible that God knows my needs before I even ask him...I need to remember that every day. He--the creator of all things--the King of Kings and Lord of Lords knows MY needs. The way that I love and take care of Katie is so insignificant compared to the way that my FATHER loves and cares for me as his child. I just need to meditate on these truths...and believe.

Trust.

I'm having trouble with this one today, Lord...please help me.

On my fridge, I have a note, and it says, "Praise HIM when things are wonderful AND Praise HIM when the are not! Don't give up. Trust everyday!"

I think I need to read that about 500 times today.

In Joshua, 1:5, the Lord says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." And of course, Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Please, please, please Lord, help me understand how to trust you today.

I need to trust today.

Today.

This morning.

Right now.

Today.

Another sleepless night, and dr. visit update

I can't sleep. Last night I woke up at midnight, and was awake most of the rest of the night. I guess I am preparing for those sleepless nights when baby arrives. I have a lot of time to think during that time, and last night I couldn't stop thinking about doing something with women's ministry at our church. Kris had one of those nights the other night when he couldn't sleep, and was thinking about men's ministry. It's kind of crazy. Anyhoo...
I went to the doctor's office today. Dr. was delivering a baby but I saw the nurse and she did the normal checks. I lost 6 pounds this week. I was shocked. I am not sure why. I have really been trying to watch my sugars, but I haven't really been eating too much less. She said that my ketones looked good this time, though. So I don't know what's going on. Baby Asher seems to be doing good. He has been a little squirmer--just wiggling so much. I love that feeling. I love this little guy so much, I can' t wait to see him. I just want to hold him. There were two brand new babies in the waiting room today, and I just can't wait to see our little one.

Woohoo-30 Weeks!

Since I am awake, anyway, I might as well post my weekly update-we're at 30 weeks this week! Yahoo!!! Only 9 or 10 more weeks to go! I am feeling good this week...much better than last week. I see Dr. again on Wednesday, to check my ketones. Hopefully I will get a better report this time. I am trying to drink my water, and keeping a close eye on my sugar. Yesterday at lunch time I had a few oatmeal cookies, and those really did not work out...I guess even sugar mixed with oats is not good. I just need to stay on the straight and narrow with that.

Tonight I woke up at 1am, and I really have no idea why. I decided to blog for a bit, and was looking at older posts. I listened to that BP/SE New Again song, and decided that I shouldn't keep it for just myself and my faithful (whole entire two people!!) blog readers. I hope no one thinks I'm a weirdo, but I sent a link to it to my whole entire address book...yikes...I am sure some will think I've lost my mind. I've been thinking about what exactly I've done to reach people, though, and well...I'm falling short. I need to reach people for Christ...that's what I am called to do.

Last night we went to the park and zoo. After receiving 13" of snow on Thursday, it was almost 70 degrees yesterday! It was beautiful. Katie and I got home, rounded up Kris, and we spent the evening walking through the zoo, playing in the park, and we even had a picnic dinner. It was really nice. I am so blessed to have those two...they are the greatest of all my blessings!

Thankful for $18.00

I was at Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon, just grabbing a sub, some jalepeno chips, and a few other things for our Super-Bowl Sunday, and I saw a Mom and three girls leaving the store. The mom looked tired, she had her littlest girl tightly in tow, and her two older girls were dragging their feet behind her. They had bought nothing, Their coats were dirty, and they all looked a little stressed. They caught my eye for some reason...and I wasn't sure why at the time. I went on my way, and paid for our food, while they left the store empty-handed (and what looked like empty-hearted). You know, I never leave empty handed, in fact, I usually leave Wal-Mart with more than I could ever need, and more than we ever finish, usually. I say all of this because we ARE, in fact, a little bit poor this week. Our budget was tight anyway, and I went ahead with obedience and paid our tithe. I have to confess that there have been weeks when I have held back our tithe check, so we could have extra money for the week. This week I went ahead and paid, and yesterday Kris was cleaning out the garage and found a Christmas gift that I had bought for Katie and forgotten about/lost. I still had the receipt, and he took it to WM to get a refund and buy an extra $18 in groceries for the week. I wonder what $18 could have done for that family? Would they have left WM in what looked like despair? Would it have helped them in any way? Gosh...seriously...if I could DVR time and go back to that moment, I would have loved to have had just a $100 bill to give them. We are so incredibly, abundantly blessed, and I take it so much for granted. I think there are times when the Lord wants me to learn a lesson on thankfulness...and this time I think I did. I am thankful for the milk, bread, oranges, and string cheese that Kris will bring home in the morning-truly thankful.

Dr visit update

I saw the Dr. today. I lost two pounds, and my keytones (sp?) were a little elevated from dehydration. I haven't been drinking as much water, because I don't like making 25 trips to the bathroom every day at work! She was happy with my blood sugars and everything, and I am measuring just fine. Asher's heartbeat was in the 130's today. She wanted me to not lose any more weight, and to drink more water and eat eggs and cottage cheese (seriously-that's what she said! :o) Funny suggestion, but it works for me...I love both of those! She wanted me to come back in one week this time, just to check the keytones. She said I was a good patient, and that I make her life easier. :o) I guess that's a good thing.

The last days of winter...in my mind anyway!

Ahh...January is over as of midnight tomorrow night. What a relieving thought! I know we still have all of February and sometimes even March for wintry weather, but I am just glad this month is almost over. February brings hope of spring. This morning I was reading the first chapter of 1 Peter, and I was reminded of a song by Acappella-Nita and Crystal-do you remember them? Gosh-there's nothing like that group to remind me of the hope and promise of spring. I am not quite sure why I link them together? Possibly because Crystal won an Acappella tape-Sweet Fellowship-I believe-at the Youth Group Easter Egg Scavenger hunt when we were all in grade school---that's a long time to keep a memory-I'm proud of my brain for that! That makes me happy. So...I just put in this cd, and ahhh...I feel happy and blessed...plus my nose feels better today.

I think I mentioned yesterday that there are only 10 weeks til our baby boy gets here-he's about all I can think about. I've been trying to get things at work gathered up, caught up, fixed up, and not messed up before I go on maternity leave. I am not sure who is taking my spot for the THREE MONTHS (!!!!!) that I will be gone, but I want to have it all ready for them.

Oh-and here is a little piece of 1 Peter that I love:

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1Peter 1:8-9

Even though there are struggles of this world, and sometimes we cannot see Jesus-we KNOW he is here with us, and that makes us happy, because we know we will be in Heaven with him someday. (my paraphrase)

29 weeks!

I'm feeling a little bit better today. My head still aches, but the crazy nose thing is tapering off. I really want to get back to being blessed and blogging---I've missed sharing my thoughts and joy here.

We're 29 weeks this weeks-about 10 weeks to go! I am so excited! I also spoke with my boss about taking 12 weeks off instead of 8, and it looks like that will work out! I am thrilled! I can't even imagine taking 3 months off with my boy-and my girl-two of the months I will be out will be on Katie's summer break! I'm looking forward to spending the summer at home. Yay! :o) I want to really savor and enjoy it, so I am going to try very hard to get organized before baby comes, so I can just enjoy the time at home. I know it won't all be peaches and cream, but I think I will always treasure that time at home. I don't know if I will get to ever be a SAHM, I don't know if Kris will get a new job, I don't know how we will afford daycare if I have to go back to work, but I know God has a plan-HE's the MAN with the PLAN!

I see Dr. tomorrow, and I will for sure be asking her what in the world the pulling feeling is clear accross the top of my belly. I am not sure if Asher is just growing so much, or if my body is just rearranging, but it has really been worse lately. There are times when it almost doubles me over, just because it aches...I'm sure everything is fine...I'm just old and whiney!

Well, I need to get a little bit of work done today (tons, actually) so I will blog more when I can. It's good to be back...I've missed being here.

Is it over yet?

Yikes...I cannot shake this cold. My head feels like it might just fall off! I see the doctor on Wednesday, so if I'm not better by then, I might have to whine and see if there is anything I can take. It seems worse in the evenings and the nights have been really tough.

I think it's because I've not been feeling well, but I feel a little depression creeping in this evening. I also think it's because it's the beginning of Kris's work week, and I miss him so much.

Tomorrow will be a new day, a Monday, but nonetheless, a brand new day.

One more day of not feeling so great...

Ugg...I will be glad to feel better. This has been a rough cold. It seems like it's better in the daytime, and then at night my whole head/nose/sinus go bananas...I can' t sleep, can't breathe...praying tomorrow morning will be better. I miss blogging about good stuff...so instead of writing a novel, I want to just list some things I am thankful for:
My family.
My parents.
The thought of having our baby in the springtime.
Clean laundry.
This baby boy kicking me.

Still not feeling well...

1 Peter 5:7 says,
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Thank goodness.

Germs...

The cold/flu germ has invaded...Katie and I have the beginnings of what looks to be a yucky cold. I will post again later when we are feeling better.

28 weeks!

This week marks 28 weeks of pregnancy, so we have 11 or 12 weeks to go before we meet our boy! Yay! I am feeling lots better, I have decided that it really is important for me to get rid of the sugar all together. I am still eating carbs, but obvious sugars have been gone for the past 5 days, and I do feel lots better!

My Bible reading this morning comes from 2 Corinthians 5:17:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I was looking for verses with the word NEW in them, and there were a lot. I am going to think about this verse throughout the day today, and maybe share some thoughts on it later.

holiday

Yesterday Katie didn't have school because of the MLK holiday. I did have to work, however, and had to go to a meeting in Pittsburg. I decided that Katie could come with me, and then we would have a fun lunch and shop a little bit. We went to the Mall Deli and had delicious bagels with munster cheese...so yummy! While we were there, we saw Pastor and Leah Sukraw from our old church-Pitt Naz. Pastor married Kris and I, and we attended there until we moved when Katie was 18 months old. They were so happy to see us. Leah's energy still amazes me. She wanted to know everything about how we were, etc. I found myself just talking 100 mph about the last 6 years in Independence, and they were so happy to hear that we were doing ok! I told her about Kris giving his life back over to Christ several years ago, and it had made him so much more loveable and our marriage so much stronger, we talked about baby Asher coming, and our 10 year anniversary coming up, they were amazed with how beautiful and tall Katie was, and with all of the good things and blessings that God has provided. Somehow, telling them about us made me feel more optimistic about things. Really, the move to "the country" was so good for us. Each time we visit Pitt, we affirm our choice in moving here. Visiting with Pastor and Leah was wonderful, but I think that might be the only thing I *really* miss. I don' t miss keeping up with the Jones, I don't miss the pressure of being in the main office, I don't miss Kris not being who he really is now in Christ. I wouldn't trade that part for anything...his salvation is so much more important than bagels, Jim's steakhouse, Lakeside Park, our beloved sunroom, and all of the good memories I have from living in Pitt. I will always have those memories as long as I am on earth, but our relationship with Christ is eternal.

Oh-and I got my hair cut and eyebrows waxed, so I am feeling much less furry...I was having fur issues because of the vitamins and hormones...I'm better now.

New Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NaSROohLzs

I love this song too.

Amazing Grace

http://video.music.yahoo.com/up/music/music/?rn=1301797&vid=39593503&stationId=&curl=

Have you heard this version of Amazing Grace by Christ Tomlin? We watched the movie this week, and it was really good. I love this song.

My favorite lyrics in it (that were added in, I believe) are:

My chains are gone, I've been set free.
My God, my savior, has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains,
Unending love, Amazing grace...

I'm so thankful for that grace that he shows us. Even when we mess up...over and over again.

Colossians 3 and Asher's heart.

Really, there is so much goooooooood stuff in this chapter, it's too much to type, but I wanted to at least remember and write down Colossians 3:12-15, because they seem so relevant to me right now. So here it is:
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as memebers of one body, you were called to peace. And be thankful."
Yesterday I had to travel to Lawrence for a meeting. I had almost 6 hours in the car with Joyce Meyer, and 4 hours in a meeting for work. The name of the tape set I was listening to was called "The Price of Progress". I had listened to it before, but I know for a fact that the Lord led me to listen to the series again yesterday, because it was what I needed to hear. It ministered to my HEART, and I cried in thankfulness almost all the way home. One of the points that Joyce made was that the devil tries to bring out our old sins-the ones that are already forgiven-to bring us down. He brings up the things of our past, things that happened to us, the things that we have done to others, to tries and pull us away from the grace of Christ. I needed to hear her message so much yesterday. I think my heart was set free. There were some problems of the past that I have been thinking of, even having dreams about, and I believe that HE has delivered me from those. Another point that Joyce made was that God-our savior-truly loves us...not like he kind of puts up with us...but he truly adores YOU, and me. He gave his one and only son to die for us...even if we would have been the only person on earth...he still would have done it...for YOU, for me. Isn't that amazing? I am in complete awe of that, and I hope it gets into you too.

I have some pictures to share in a little while. Katie found Asher's heart! My mom gave us a little wall hanging that has tiny nails to hold hearts with all of our names on them. I had lost one, couldn't find it anywhere. Katie found it in her Barbie toy box, and when I got home from my trip yesterday, Katie had written (in her sweet 2nd grade handwriting) Asher's name on it and hung it on the nail by our names. She was so incredibly excited and proud.

Another picture I want to add is a note that Katie wrote to Kris a couple of night ago. Earlier in the evening, Kris and Katie had been having a conversation about loving Jesus with all of your heart. Katie told Kris that since her whole heart was for Jesus, that she would love him with all of her feet. Her note for him to read the next morning when he got home from work said,
"To Daddy
I love you
whith all of
my feet
I misted
you Love
Katie Macaroni"

These (the two examples above) are what it's all about, huh? They really, truly are.

Yeah...time to go get more kleenex...I'm one thankful mama today.

I'm a failure...

Happy update: I called dr. on Friday to see what the results were from this big long test, and I passed-she said everything was fine---sooo incredibly thankful. I am going to watch my sugar like a hawk from now on!

I failed my one hour glucose test yesterday, so today I'm having to do the 3 hour one...ugg...so not fun. Also-can I just grump for one minute? Kris let Katie sleep with us again last night, and I just cannot keep letting her do that. I need to get good sleep at night. I have woke up so grumpy all the mornings that she sleeps with both of us. It's different when there's only us two, but three's a crowd. I grumped at Kris this morning for me not having a real winter coat to wear, I grumped at Katie for pretty much everything this morning, AND I grumped at a co-worker...and I hurt his feelings, I know. Lord, please forgive me for my crazy grumpy behavior. Ugg...I hope this day gets better.

Good grief, and my devotion from Colossians this morning was about clothing yourself with kindness, gentleness, compassion, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I haven't even considered doing yet. Lord, please be with me, and help me be what YOU want me to be...not what I FEEL like being...

Dr. visit and our karate girl

I went to see Dr. today. Everything still looks good! I gained another 4 pounds this month, which really made me cringe! Dr. said that 12 pounds is not bad for being 6 months along, so I guess I am still ok! My goal was to not gain over 15 pounds, but I am not so sure that's going to happen. Baby Asher's heartbeat was in the 140's-150's. I love listening to his heart beat...it's the most wonderful sound! I go back every two weeks now, so we're coming in on the home stretch! Yay! I'm so excited! My goal for the next two weeks is to REALLY watch my sugar closely, and try and not have too many desserts.

Katie had karate last night, she does so well in there now. She's still a little wild, and not completely 100% focused while she is listening to Master Lewis, but she loves it so much. She is really enjoying having a "sport" that she is good at. We're so very proud of her!

Proverbs 31

My devotional this morning was Proverbs 31. I had read it before, but it's always good to review that one-especially if you are a mom and wife. Verses 11 and 12 especially spoke to me this morning. In talking about the virtuous wife, the passage says that the heart of her husband safely trusts her, and she does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Those are things I need to work on...probably not the trust part as much as the doing good and not evil. Sometimes I am not the kind of wife that I need to be-there are days when I don't put much effort into making Kris feel better, there are some days when I am not encouraging, but rather nagging. In the 25th verse, it says that "strength and honor" are her clothing. I have to admit, strength (emotional, spiritual) is not one of my strong virtues. I think I might try and work on all of those, just a day at a time.

27 Weeks!

Our little guys is 27 weeks this week. As I'm typing this, he is just squirming around like crazy. I will never tire of that feeling! I feel so blessed to have him.

My sister and I talked a little bit about the baby shower again this weekend, and we're thinking either the 1st or 15th of March. Yay! I can't wait. Kris thinks we need to do it on the 1st, so we will have plenty of time to get the things we still need after we have been "showered". I started a registry at Wal-Mart, but we didn't get to go shopping with the little scanner thing yet, so I think Katie and I might try and do that this week. She wants to help pick out some things for him.

Katie is getting really excited about meeting him, I think. She just seems more enthusiastic. I was looking at some pictures that I had processed of Katie holding baby Tre (above photo) when he was tiny, and the look of love on her face is priceless...I can't imagine how much she will adore her own brother. (I hope it's a bunch!)

It's crazy to think that in 13 weeks or less we will get to hold him in our arms, and touch his tiny hands, and kiss his sweet head, and just look at him all we want. Yay! That in itself makes me so happy! I remember when Katie was born, Kris and I would just look at her, for the longest times, just in total and complete awe of the tiny creation that God had given us. She was amazing, and I can't believe we get to do that all over again! What a HUGE Blessing and honor!

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (literally.)

Yikes...I have been a grump this morning. Last night I decided that I would let Kris have his old side of the bed back for a night. Big mistake. I woke up this morning at 3, 4, and 5 am...as grumpy as can be. I decided to go ahead and get up and read the Bible. I couldn't understand my Bible reading (Romans Chapter 2), I just wandered around the house aimlessly for a while, then sat down on the couch, fell asleep, and had a bad dream. Ugg. Lord, please renew me. Please, just renew my faith, my strength, my cheerfulness.

Hebrews 13

This morning I read the 13th chapter of Hebrews. I had started reading at the 11th chapter about faith a couple of days ago, so I thought I would just finish the book. Well, this morning, I looked at the chapter, and at the top it said, Concluding Exhortations, so I thought, oh, that's just the good-bye part of Paul's letter, I should just skip it and start a new book. I am so glad that I didn't. My prayer was this morning for God to please speak to me, to tell me that he was going to make everything alright. When I read that chapter, He DID speak to me. One little passage says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."(the end of 13:5) and 13:6 says, "So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" I have had a heavy anxiety these past few days. I am dreading the time 5 whole months from now that I will have to leave my boy at daycare. It has seriously been causing a feeling of physical pain in my chest...like heartbrokenness. I, in my earthly knowledge and brain of ideas, don't know how it would be possible for me to stay at home with him for a while...but I have a feeling that HE does! I know that NOTHING is impossible with God---nothing!

Nothing is impossible with God.
Nothing is impossible with God.
Nothing is impossible with God.

Nothing.
No, not one thing.
Nothing.

It's going to be ok. He will make a way. He will show me what to do. I have faith. I have every confidence...Lord...please help me truly believe.

Scrapbooking and Faith

I got an email with the first weekly challenge for Faith Sisters, which is a group of Christian ladies who also scrapbook. The challenge for the week is to do a page about "Faith", where our faith comes from, who our faith is in, etc. The scripture for this assignment is Hebrews Chapter 11. I decided to read it here at work, because I had Katie's tiny Bible in my purse. Wow. That chapter truly does have a huge list of testimonies from Bible people who lived by faith...it's a literal list, and I just found it so amazing. There are tons of stories in the Bible about living by faith, but to see them all listed out was neat. Hebrews Chapter 11, verse 1, says,"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I kept on reading a bit into chapter 12, and had to pinch my nose to not cry...it says, "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (2)Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Ok, that's all for now. :o)

26 weeks!

Every week I am so thankful. Every week I am in disbelief. Every week I feel INCREDIBLY blessed to be having this baby boy. It's hard to believe that in about 14 weeks, I will be holding him in my arms instead of feeling him bump around inside of me.

Kris worked on Asher's room a little more this weekend. He is thinking we might have to hang new doors in his room. When he took the trim off the doors, he broke one of the door frames...yikes! He was able to get the ceiling fan installed, and filled all of the nail holes to get ready to paint. We're looking for a remnant of carpeting that is big enough to do both his and Katie's room and closets. It would be so nice to have that all done before Asher arrives.

We had a good weekend together. Kris was off Friday, Saturday and Sunday (day). We watched a couple of episodes of Little House on the Prairie from my new Season 2 DVD's. We went for a short hike at Elk City Lake. I had some pretty good Braxton-Hicks contractions over the weekend, so I kind of took it easy. It was nice to be home with Kris and Katie. We only have about 12 more weekends with just the three of us, so we're trying to make them count! Katie and Kris were having a small wrestling match on the living room floor and Katie said the funniest thing...she told Kris she was going to give him a "butter" sandwich, because she couldn't think of "knuckle" sandwich. It was so funny...I couldn't stop laughing!

I have decided that since I cannot use my usual New Year's Resoultions of losing weight, exercise, etc. that I never can keep anyway, that I will try some easier, more creative ones. One of them is to write more letters (actual letters-on paper), and get back in touch with people that I haven't talked to in a while. So far, I have written and mailed two letters...one to my Aunt Waunita, and one to my friend Jennifer Buckbee. I'm a weirdo-I know!

Ok-time for 3 random things that make me happy:
Strawberry-Banana Yogurt with bananas and pecans...yum.
Clean sheets.
Listening to Katie giggle and laugh.

:o) That's all for now.

Happy 2008!

It's hard to believe that 8 years ago, Kris and I had a "2000" millineum party at our house and I was 6 months pregnant with Katie. Time sure has gone fast. This year Kris had to work, so Katie and I went to Mom and Dad's for New Year's Eve. We all tried so hard to stay up until midnight-we barely made it! Everyone was so tired and full of yummy food...it was hard to stay awake! We did a few fireworks and all went to bed! The next morning, I had to go back to our hosue, because I had forgotten Reese's birthday present, and as I was driving home, I just felt so much hope and happiness. It was kind of early in the morning, the sun was coming up, and it seemed like I just felt the presence of God in my car that morning. I do have so much hope for this year. Our little boy will be born safely, Kris will hopefully find a job that will be better for our family, and I think we will all draw closer to the Lord. Those are my most sincere hopes and prayers for our little family for the New Year.

Well, speaking of our little boy, we are on week 25 this week, so only 14-15 weeks to go. We're so excited! He moves so much now, and I can really feel and see him moving from the outside! Kris and Katie have both been able to feel him move too. We have started to work on his room. Kris has decided to put up new trim after he paints. This should be an adventure! We got our crib and changing table back from Emmalee, and I'm so excited and thankful that they decided to send it back our way! We still need to get a crib mattress, changing table pad, and carseat for sure, otherwise, I think we are set for at least the couple of months. I just can't wait to meet him, and kiss his sweet forehead...I wonder if it will be as soft as Katie's?

Happy New Year-2008!