Saturday, July 06, 2013

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18

Wednesday I visited the doctor and we found out that our sweet baby we were expecting in February had passed away.  I hadn't posted about this pregnancy, and only a few close friends and family knew about it.  My hcg had not been increasing the way it should for several weeks, so we went through several weeks of blood tests and sonograms to confirm that we had lost the pregnancy.  Yesterday I had a D&C.  I feel pretty lost about how to feel.  This pregnancy was a complete and total surprise but Kris and I had started choosing names and dreaming of what the baby would look like, how much it would weigh-would it outweigh his/her big sisters and brother? Would this baby have my skin tone or Kris's, would he/she have red hair or blonde hair?  I know our sweet baby is being snuggled in heaven right now, probably by my Grandma Rench, or maybe by Jesus just hurts to not have him/her with us.  I know we will be ok.  I have felt the presence of the holy spirit through the entire experience, I know he has been holding my heart.

1 comment:

Emmalee I. Hoggatt said...

I to know the pain of lost hopes and dreams. I haven't lost a child but I have lost the dream of another child. A pain that is still very fresh and deep to me. I love you and your family so deeply and dearly and will continue to lift you up to Jesus. Only his live can comfort the hurting. May he give you peace and may you feel his love closer then ever before.