Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Asher's first day of school.

Asher started daycare today. I remember when Katie went, even when she was tiny, she called it "school". It was a difficult day for me. I had a meeting in Pittsburg and cried almost all the way there. Then I cried almost all the way home. I think the people at the daycare thought I was a nut, but I couldn't help it. I was just overcome with grief. Not because I didn't think they could take care of him, but because I know he needs me, his mom, the most. I am just overwhelmed by confusion, really, because I don't understand God's plan for us. I don't know what I am supposed to do. Tonight I prayed for God to just come and sit with me for a while, and give me some kind of comfort, but he didn't come, I never felt his presence. I wasn't even asking for "my way" this time, just for him to be there with me. I don't understand, really, I just don't understand. O Lord, please just come and hold me. I need you and I need comfort and hope. It's just been a rough day.

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