Trust.

Hi.  I've been thinking about this little word.  I've been thinking about what it means.  I've been thinking about ways that I can show God that I trust him.  I have been talking to Him about it.  A lot.  It's a difficult thing, to completely trust someone...even if that someone is the God of the universe.  There are lots of verses in the Bible about trust, Proverbs 3:5-6 comes to mind mostly because of our Caravan ministry at church.  I know that I just need to do what the Bible says, to TRUST him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding.  My understanding of why our house has not sold is just not good, so I am declaring not to lean on that any further!  I really, really just want to trust in the Lord with all of my heart.  He knows our situation, he knows every detail.  He knows about our finances, he knows about our mortgage, he knows about the desires of our hearts to watch the sun set from our front porch, to live simply, to cherish the outdoors and freedom from debt...he knows every beat of our heart, every wish, every dream...He...the God of the entire universe...knows all about this.  We pray every single day about selling the house, and I know there are so many other more important things that I should be praying about.  It just feels like if we could get this taken care of, so many other things would fall into place.  I know I can't go my whole life just waiting for the next big hurdle to be crossed off the list, I need to be enjoying the little everyday things now.  Lord, please help me trust you, please help me to be aware of the blessings all around me today.  In your name I pray...amen.

Just checking in!

Crystal and the kiddos came over for a visit today, and she brought her laptop and wireless card, so I decided to check in!  The kids are growing so fast.  Rylee has finally surpassed Katie in height!  Reagan is such a big girl at 4, and Reese is just such a big serious boy!  Asher and Katie are enjoying the company, but it's so hot out that they've all been stuck inside.  We're planning on going to the zoo and park later when it cools off. 

Our little blueberry (which is no longer the size of a blueberry!) is doing good.  Morning sickness seems to be tapering off, and our first trimester is almost through!  I see the doctor on August 20th, can't wait to just hear that sweet heartbeat again!  I am still really tired, but I think part of it is the heat, and part of it is just having two other kids (one of them being a normal 2 year old!).  Hoping to get some energy back soon.

We still have not sold our house.  It's been on the market 5 months.  We still believe that God has a great plan for us, but we have no idea what it is.  We will just wait and see.  Everything is going to be ok!  I'm partly trying to convince myself of this, but I know in my heart that it's true.  We did have someone call and ask for bedroom measurements today, so that could be a good sign...we will just keep praying and waiting!

 

We're going "unplugged" for a little while...

We've decided to let our phone/internet/dish tv go for a while to save some money until the house sells.  It was a tough decision, but there are so many other more important things.  We just feel like this is the right thing to do.  We're going to try and visit the library once a week, so I will try and update the blog then.  I'm also going to keep a "blog" offline in a document on the computer.  I will miss checking in on other's blogs, but I will try and do that a little bit at the library.  Everything is going to be ok!  Hopefully we will sell the house soon!

Baby news...Our due date looks like it's going to be February 23rd.  We still can't believe how blessed we are to have the chance to have one more precious little one.  Asher has even started looking in my belly button for the "beebee"!  Ha!  Katie is just sure it's a girl and wants a sister so badly!

I guess I will sign off for a while...I know things will be ok.  God is faithful.

He's changing my mission and perspective...

I have lots of stuff churning in my mind this morning, and I just want to share some of it.  I have to confess...one week ago, before I took the pregnancy test, my mind was on one thing...selling this house.  Suddenly this week, things have changed.  I am focused more on being a mother, taking more time with Katie and Asher, making sure that they know I love them with all of my heart.  It's amazing how my perspective has changed in just one short week.  Last week I was obsessed with house/decor blogs, keeping up with the latest up-cycling craft, continuously changing around my growing garage sale milk glass collection, being just crazy with theories and schemes to sell the house.  Since then, I have just been feeling my spirit surrender and yield to the Lord, just feeling myself literally melt into the only One who can handle this.  Suddenly my prayers are not about the house, they are about His will, his desire for our family, praying for our little blueberry.  Nothing. Else. Matters.  Nothing, except God and his will for our lives.  I've gained this huge amount of clarity...this clear knowledge of my purpose...of being a mother, of being a wife, and of being a servant.  I feel calm.  It feels like a mission, one that only God could have given me.  We weren't trying to have another baby, but God knew that it was his plan for us.  He knows all about this.  He knows all about Katie and Asher, and their need for us to be Godly parents, he knows all about the desires of our hearts...which have changed immensely this week.  He knows everything, and the amazing part is that he loves us.  He LOVES us...He loves us...amazing...just completely amazing.

This morning as Kris and prayed together, we both just felt the Holy Spirit leading us to just completely surrender.  We prayed for our ears and eyes to be open to his plan for us. 

Thank you, Lord, so much for your Holy Spirit...please help us just to listen for you, to listen for your still small voice.  Please help us see opportunities for your will to be done.  Please keep our hearts WIDE open to YOU, and to you only.  In Jesus' Name.

All to Jesus I surrender;


All to Him I freely give;

I will ever love and trust Him,

In His presence daily live.

Refrain:

I surrender all,

I surrender all;

All to Thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;

Humbly at His feet I bow,

Worldly pleasures all forsaken;

Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;

Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;

Let me feel the Holy Spirit,

Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender;

Lord, I give myself to Thee;

Fill me with Thy love and power;

Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;

Now I feel the sacred flame.

Oh, the joy of full salvation!

Glory, glory, to His Name!

Updates...

Baby Stuff...We have a doctor's appt. with our OB/GYN on Friday, July 23rd.  She's on vacation this week, so we had to wait until the first available appointment next week.   Jenny, Dr.'s nurse asked me if I had begun taking prenatal vitamins, and asked if everything seemed to be going ok.  Jenny was with us all throughout our pregnancy with Asher, so she knows a little bit of history of our years of trying, etc.  She was excited for us. Having an appointment makes it seem so much more real.  I'm feeling ok.  I have had just tiny little bouts of nausea, and have had little cramps here and there...those scare me so much, but I know that every pregnancy is different.  I had those little cramps with Katie and Asher, but I was much sicker with both of them by this point.  I'm just praying that things are ok in there...it's difficult to imagine loving another little someone as much as I do Katie and Asher...but I already do...I love this little tiny blueberry!

House Stuff...We are trying to decide whether to lower the price on our house again.  One of the houses in our price range on the next block sold, so I still have hope that maybe our house might be right for someone.  They moved to a larger house here in town, and I saw them moving today.  I have to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous, and even teared up just a little bit (pregnancy hormones, I'm completely sure!).  I just want our house to sell so badly.  We have a number in our head that would allow us to pay off our mortgage, pay the commission, pay the closing costs, and pay off our lawnmower that we bought for the new house.  It's $3K less than our asking price now, but I am just not sure if we should drop the price or not.  We've been sort of praying about the price change, and I pray all of the time about selling the house...I know that God has the divine plan.  I just wonder how this measily house selling business could be important to him with so many much more important needs happening all around us.  I know HE is infinite...and has limitless capabilities...I just wish I knew what will be happening with our house.  We talked to Marilyn about a time frame or deadline of when we would need to know about renting her home or not renting it.  She has asked that she be able to move forward with other plans at the end of the year if we're not out there.  She has been amazingly generous and patient with us.  We know that has been a huge gift from God!  Things will work out someday, and I am so ready and anxious for that day!

Summer Stuff...Katie is going to VBS in Tyro this week, and has Missionary Fun Day, and FaithWeaver Friends this week too, busy, busy, BUSY!  I think I am going to take the kids to Big Hill Beach tomorrow.  We just need to get out of the house.  It's only $1 for each adult and kids 12 and under are free...so for a little bit of gas, and $1 we can go play in the sand and water.  Asher has never been to the beach before, so it might just be a great big adventure for him.  I think I will pack the cooler full of cold fruit and water bottles, with some homemade chocolate chip cookies and maybe a couple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  And of course...I will definitely bring the camera!  Maybe it will be fun to get out for the day!

Well...we have some news...

A couple of days ago we learned that we are going to be a family of FIVE!  We're so excited, feel so incredibly blessed!  It was a complete and total surprise blessing!  After several years of infertility between Katie and Asher, God has blessed us twice more, with Asher and this new little one!  We are in awe.  Suddenly the concerns of selling the house, figuring our our financial situation, and everything else that has been bothering us is fading to the background in the light of this incredible news.  We're only about 7 weeks along, so please pray with us that our littlest pea is healthy and growing good in there. 

Katie just got home from camp at Ochelata.  She had a great time, and was nominated for Camper of the Year!  She is crazy happy about a new baby, and keeps kissing and hugging my stomach!  Asher doesn't know what to think.  He doesn't seem to understand.  By the time the baby is born in late February or early March, he will be almost 3, so maybe he will be able to understand then.  We're just so excited!  We can't even believe it!

Steadfast...

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
Psalm 57:7-11

I want to be steadfast, and KNOW that God is soverign, that he has everything under control, but I'm struggling today.  Lord, renew a steadfast spirit within me, create in me a clean heart, one that is open to your hope!  I really, really want to sell our house, we need to sell it.  I just want to so badly.. I know he knows the desires of our hearts, and he knows the plans he has for us...plans to give us hope and a future...plans not for disaster.  I know these things in my mind, because I've read them in the Bible, which is TRUE, but my heart is just deflated today.  Please, Lord, please renew my faith.

Another Autumn-like July day!

Today it is raining cats and dogs!  It's so rainy and cool and just so pretty outside!  Today my friend Pam took me to lunch for my birthday.  We went to King's Coffee Co. in Dearing, and it was so yummy!  I had tomato basil soup and a grilled cheese with cheddar and provolone...YUM!  I also had two cups of Jamaica Me Crazy coffee...I may not sleep tonight!  Ha!  It was so good, and Pam and I had a nice visit!  I think the rainy cool weather just made the soup and coffee taste 20 times better than usual! 

I was thinking today about how blessed I am.  Even though we're struggling a little financially now, it's just amazing to me that we're able to make it...to pay all of our bills, and I'm a stay at home mom.  Two years ago, I decided to work part time, to be able to stay home with Asher, 6 months ago, I was laid off.  I never imagined that it would be possible for me to be home.  I'm still not sure what's going to happen in a few months, but God knows...and he has it under control!  I remember while I was working full time I would drive by people's houses on days like today, rainy and dark outside, lamps lit and cozy looking inside...I was so envious of those who were able to be home.  God knows the desires of our hearts, and even just those little simple blessings, of being at home, of having a candle burning, and feeling cozy!  HE is the GIVER of these things...and I'm so thankful!

This July day feels like FALL!

It's been totally rainy and cool outside today...and I LOVE it.  I have my cinnamon candle burning in the kitchen, the kids are snuggled under blankets watching a movie, and Kris is taking a nap!  It would be nice if we could be outside in the sunshine doing some fireworks, but I love these kind of days just as well!

Stars and Stripes!

I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Independence Day with some cute photos of my kids happily smiling but "someone" wasn't having it!  He had a major cow when it came time to take some pictures...he wanted to keep playing in the water!  So we finally let him loose to go splash some more...maybe we'll get those pictures in front of the flag some other time!  Ha!

While they were playing in the water, I took some pictures of the porch. 

I will miss this porch when we move...we have spent lots of time playing out here...it's nice and shady, and the concrete is nice and smooth for sidewalk chalk, hotwheels cars and tricycles! 

I think that's all for now...hope everyone has a happy Independence Day!

July 1

It's July 1st, and it was 68 degrees this morning...wonderful!  It's so beautiful outside.  We're heading out to the new house to mow and take down wallpaper today.  I think I'm going to let Katie do some smoke balls and snakes while we're hanging out there today.  I love the 4th of July! 

Katie has her last softball game tonight.  She enjoyed it this year, but the team didn't do too well.  They lost every game. :o(  But, she learned a lot, and had fun!  She especially loved learning the little softball cheer, Big Bad Katie, Rip one down the middle...ha!  She is a good encourager of the other little girls...she cheers them on from the outfield!  Bless her heart!

We still haven't sold our house...and there are times when I just can't stand the anxiety of waiting, but I know God has a plan.  He knows all about this.  He knows the desires of our hearts.  He knows what lies ahead.  I'm so thankful for this!

I think that's all for today!

Red Cake Plate Creation!

I just wanted to join in on Met Monday over at Between Naps on the Porch and Transformation Thursday at The Shabby Chic Cottage.  I am always so inspired by everything that everyone comes up with.  Last Saturday was by far the most amazing garage sale Saturday EVER!  It all started Friday afternoon, actually.  I went to a few sales and saw this cake plate for 50 cents.  I wanted it, but I was in a hurry, and didn't get it...but I thought about it all evening and regretted not grabbing it up!  The next morning I went back by there and it was still there!  It was meant for me!  :o)  I went to a church sale and bought several decorative urns/pedestal things for 10 cents each!  Amazing...I hatched a plan to make one of the beautiful serving plates that I've seen around!  Here is the process...

Two separate pieces...destined to be together!

I pulled his little feet off with pliars.

I used Gorilla Glue to glue them together and...

are you ready?

Painted the whole thing RED! 

(Please pardon the terrible photos, I dropped my camera and have been using an old lens...doesn't work too well!) 

Thanks so much for stopping by! 

A New Look!

Hi.  I changed the template to my blog up just a little!  I love it!  I think it looks really fresh and pretty!  Here is a link to a whole wealth of blog inspiration: blog inspiration!

Blessings this morning...

This morning, the kids are still sleeping, I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee, and I'm just feeling blessed.  My mom and dad came over last night to go to Katie's softball game.  After the game, Katie and Mom and I made 4th of July t-shirts while Dad and Asher literally rolled all over the living room floor :o)  Asher started it and then Grandpa started rolling!  Just last year during Katie's softball season, my dad was just recovering from a major stroke, bleeding in his brain, and a blood clot...just amazing that he is still with us and can "roll around" with his little grandson...I feel so blessed and THANKFUL for this!  Later on I caught Asher and Dad comparing "boo-boo's" and kissing each other's ouchies!

Thank you Lord!  A friend on facebook lost her dad this week, he was only 67, I think.  She lost her mom a few years ago.  I can't imagine how that would hurt...especially with grandchildren.  I'm saying special prayers for her today.  I just feel really fortunate to have Mom and Dad and Joyce and Kenny still in our lives, for Katie and Asher to get to know each of them, for them to be able to laugh together, to play together, and snuggle together.  So very truly thankful for these things.

We had a showing last night.  My mom said she had a "feeling" that they would like it.   I think I just feel at peace with whatever God has planned.  I would LOVE to get an offer, but I am also content to just wait.  I know God has a plan (and it's a good one!)

I wanted to share some of my amazing garage sale scores from Saturday.

I just feel like God blessed me with all of these things...I got three decorative birdcages...a large one 20"x10"-ish $2 (which I already spray painted red and put out on the front porch! Ha!) and two smaller ones 14"x8"-ish $1 each, 6 flower frogs for $.10 each, a set of 3 wooden candlesticks for $.50, a pretty polkadot blouse for church for me $1, tons of clothes for Katie, priced from $.10-$.50 each...gap, old navy, a cute, cute skirt for church, some tween-ish tops that she really loved, a cake plate for $.50, a pedestal thing for $.10, a print with a cool frame that I am going to turn into a chalkboard for $.10, a ziploc bag full of colored chalk for $.10, a box full of vintage piping, quilt binding and trim, all still in packages for $1, and a box full of vintage buttons for $.50...completely amazing that there were so many wonderful treasures for very little money...a big blessing! 

Katie is a good garage saler!  She had fun and even bought Kris a yellow lab statue for father's day for $.25!  She's thrifty and thoughtful!  :o)

I think that's all for this morning, but I will update if we hear anything on the house!  :o)

God's Amazing Plans!

God’s Amazing Timeline for our Lives:


Leading Kris and I together, even though sin. Giving confirmation to us through street signs and sunflowers.

Giving us Katie, who was so beautiful and amazing, our first true look at what God can do!

The day that Kris found out about the vision center job and I found out about the case manager job in Indy.

The move to Indy was a direct (the most direct I’ve ever witnessed) reach of God’s arm to draw us to his side. He pulled us up from “the Pitt”, from our life of keeping up with the Jones, from “going to church most of the time” to “In-dependence on Him” through so many things, our new church family at Indy Naz, peers who lead us to deeper devotion, through so many things!

The struggles we had during the first year of living in Independence were also a way of God just reaching down, picking us up, holding us close to him, and comforting us. He comforted us through Katie’s hospitalizations with pneumonia, chest x-rays and testing for cystic fibrosis. He held us and provided for us while we paid the high rent and lived in the rental.

He was lovingly patient while we moved from Indy to Mound Valley, and kept us safe on the road each day. He gave us the relief from paying high rent with that move, and gave us a cute little home of our own.

He held us, comforted us, and got us through our miscarriage. He gave us strength to get through it, and gave us a child in Heaven to see someday.

He again was patient with our decision for Kris to work at the DC. He surrounded Kris with men of faith to work with, and lead him deeper into his faith. He let us sell the MV house, so that we could be closer to Kris’s work in Bartlesville.

He lead us to the calling of adopting Zac. He gave us wisdom of the Holy Spirit to discern that it might not have been the best decision, and helped Zac find a home where he was meant to be. He helped us love and appreciate Katie in an amazing way. Going through that was so difficult, but God had his hand in it…he was holding all of us, including Zac in his arms.

The entire time of moving to Caney, working at the dc, contemplating moving to Bartlesville, God still had the good and perfect plan for us to be in Independence. He drew us back to Independence, and provided Kris a job back in the store; he gave us our little rental home for a while. He protected Katie and I from carbon monoxide poisoning while there! He brought us here, to this home for a reason. He gave me Pam, to walk and talk with and lose a little bit of weight with, so that I could get pregnant and have our little Asher. We prayed for so long for another child, we cried and mourned the loss of our baby in Heaven and of Zac, but God had a plan to bring us Asher!

He has given me the opportunity to stay home with our children for a reason. He has given us so much. We just need to wait for his next answer, his next plan for us. I know his plans are best. We have learned that over the years of searching and moving and trying to plan things on our own. We know that HE LOVES US, and he wants what is best for us…so we will trust him…completely.

Trusting, waiting, dreaming...

Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Phil. 4:6-7

I'm trying to remind myself of these verses as I pray for our home to sell this morning.  I feel like I've been praying and petitioning God about moving to the country home forever...it's been 6 months.  I know there are reasons and plans beyond what I can see or imagine, but I'm so impatient.  I worry that Marilyn will get tired of waiting on us, and change her mind about letting us rent.  I worry that we are not going to be able to pay our mortgage much longer.  I worry that we haven't paid Katie's tuition in full for this past school year.  I worry about everything that needs to happen when we sell this house.  I know I am not supposed to worry, but I'm naturally a worrier, and it's an area of my spirit that I struggle with every.single.day.  Lord, please help me not worry.  Please help me put my TRUST in you.

I started a photo album on facebook called, "The Old Orchard Cottage"...I think that's what I am going to call our little home and my little "studio" out in the country.  When we were looking at the house, Marilyn told us there was an old orchard on the property, but she didn't think it produced fruit anymore.  Well, we have been watching little apples grow for the past month...they are beautiful!  There are at least three trees producing fruit!  We're so excited!  We have plans to prune in the fall and hopefully get the trees in better shape for the next time around. (I think they produce every other year?) Anyway, we're not spraying for worms or anything, so they will probably be pie apples, or apple butter, with the good parts of each apple.  So excited for living out there this fall.  There are so many things that we love about it out there, the sunsets are beyond amazing...just beautiful and completely wonderful, and all of the different trees and plants and bushes...so many things blooming and changing.  I just can't wait to sit on the porch in my PJ's and drink coffee while watching the sun come up over the trees.  I can't wait to watch the kids play in the yard, and not worry about them screeching with joy too loudly!  I can't wait to let the dogs run and explore and then fall asleep on the porch!  I can't wait for Kris and I to sit out on the porch swing under the stars after the kids have gone to bed!  I know it won't all be peachy and rosey, but there are so many things we are just really looking forward to!  Please pray with us that our home will sell soon!

VBS!

VBS is going really well!  We have had about 50 kids, hoping and praying for even more throughout the week!  Our pastor would like to have a baptism on Sunday for the kids who have said yes to Jesus!  :o) 

I told our realtor to be ready, because we were going to be selling the house *NEXT* week!  Praying that God has just been waiting for VBS to be over to get our move happening!

Katie and Asher have been having a blast at VBS.  They both really enjoy it, but we are all pretty tired each night so far!

Trust seems to be the theme lately!

Pastor Bill talked about trust last night in his message.  He told the story of David and Goliath, and how David did not have his trust in the armor that Saul tried to give him, he didn't have trust in the sling and stones, he completely TRUSTED GOD to help him defeat the giant to had defiled his God!  Amazing!  For a while now, I think I have been partly trusting in our realtor (bless her heart--she's amazing!), trusting in my own ability to get the house clean enough for someone to want to buy it, trusting in "enough money" to keep us afloat, trusting in things...but where should my true trust lie?  IN the one who loves me more than anyone, and the one who would never hurt me, the one can work miracles, the ONE who has the ultimate plan for my life---JESUS, MY LORD!  So very thankful for this! 

Trusting and Waiting...

"Remember it is because He loves us that He waits. Immediate intervention would abort the far greater thing He has in mind. Trust Him for the greater." - Elisabeth Elliot


My friend Jo had this as her facebook status, and I think it's just a great quote...it was perfect timing for her to post it because I needed a little extra encouragement this morning.  I keep thinking there is either something harmful that God is protecting us from, or something greater that he is hatching while we're waiting to sell the house.  I just have to believe that he has a plan, and it's a good plan!  I just have to remind myself of this, over and over, or Satan creeps in and makes me have doubts. 

VBS is coming along, just 3 weeks until our Egypt adventure.  It's been exciting and stressful, but overall, I've seen God's provision so many times already.  We have all of our staff positions filled, about 60 adults and teens!  Praise Him!  So many people have said yes, and I am just so very thankful!  We also have someone who has graciously offered to bake 15 loaves of fresh, open-hearth baked bread for us everyday!  Amazing!  We had a generous budget from the church, so we were able to get everything we need for the crafts.  It's time to start buying the dried fruit and nuts, and the week of VBS we'll buy the fresh fruit.  The marketplace will be set up in our Family Life Center, and I just think the kids are going to have a blast making bricks out of mud, visiting the animal courtyard on Friday, and trying their hand at writing hieroglyphics!  The music is FABULOUS!  I am ready to have VBS!

He will provide!

We're still waiting to sell the house.  It's been on the market two months today.  We are so ready to get out to the country.  We mowed there last Saturday, and I just couldn't believe how pretty it looked.  I am just in love with the rolling hills, the quiet, the giant yard.  I love the sound of the kids playing and Kris mowing.  I just can't wait to feather our nest.  Please, Lord...please let our house sell soon.

Yesterday and today, the Lord lead me to read two different passages in the Bible about his provision.  The first one was not to worry about what we will eat, drink, or wear and he gave examples of the birds of the air and the lilies in the fields.  Today's story was the classic story of Jesus feeding 5000+ with the little dude's lunch.  I know that God is with us, and he is in control.  I know that even though we're struggling with our finances, we still have plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and we have clothes to wear!  He is also providing enough for our mortgage for shelter.  We're going to be ok.  I just need to concentrate on his provisions, and not try to figure it all out by myself.