Our shower is tomorrow!!!

Yippy! I can't wait! My friend Anita is coming down from KC, my friend Pam is making the cake, and my friend, my sister, Crystal is putting the whole thing together! I am just so grateful! I am excited to see everyone, and so excited about getting Asher set up with the stuff he's going to need! Yay!

I will try and post some pictures tomorrow! Yay!

33 weeks!

We are at 33 weeks this week! It's getting so close. Our first baby shower is this weekend, and I am really excited about it! Asher boy is still squirming quite a bit, but I can tell that he is getting cramped in there...he pushes so hard that sometimes I think he is trying to escape! I love that feeling, but I can't wait to hold him in my arms for the first time.

I have been trying to get things caught up at work, but honestly, my heart is already home. I am still praying to be a stay at home mom. I am willing to do whatever God has for me to do, but in my own selfishness for my own family, I really want to be at home. I have to believe that He is in control, and knows the plans that He has for me. There is no other way I would get through the day without knowing down deep in my heart that God has things in his hands. There is a new song by Natalie Grant, called "In Better Hands" that I just love. I am going to see if I can find a link to it...here it is: http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/--55692603

It think that's all for today.

Exciting weekend!

I just wanted to share a few pictures from our weekend so far. Katie tested for her second orange tip on her way to the orange belt in karate. She did so well! We are so proud of her! She really listens to Master Lewis, and enjoys karate so much! They always begin each testing with prayer, and end each testing with board breaking. This is Katie's third board!

Tonight Katie and Kris went to the Daddy-Daughter Ball! Our wonderful neighbor, Kara, came over and fixed Katie's hair so beautifully! Kris bought her a wrist corsage, and she was so excited about wearing it! She looked so pretty, and Kris looked so handsome...I am such a blessed person to have those two in my life!

Asher and I are just hanging out. He is squirming around in my belly, and I'm going to tackle the "sock basket" (yikes!)

Do not fear...

http://peterwade.com/articles/wade/fearpl.shtml
Someone said that there are the words "do not fear" 365 times in the Bible, and that is one for every day of the year. I just found the article above, and it gave me some encouragement. I wanted to add it in to read through later. Today has been a very stressful day of work. I drove 160 miles, had 2 very stressful incidents, and tonight getting home from work, I snapped Kris and Katie's heads off, because of the stress of work. Not because of anything they had done, but because of my work stress. It's ironic to me that I take out my frustrations on the two people that I love the most and should be taking care of, because of the stress of taking care of other people's families. They left me here. Kris said he would take Katie out for a drive so I could finish my work. Before he left, he said, why don't you read the Bible for a little while, you'll feel better. I opened my Bible randomly (but yet by HIS plan) to Isaiah 41:10 which says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I prayed and let him hear all of my frustrations, and cried out to him, and he gave me that verse. What an amazing God HE is...the one who holds my heart.
When Kris and Katie get home, I just want to hold them, and tell them I love them so much, and ask them to forgive me.

32 weeks!

I am 32 weeks pregnant this week! Asher boy is just moving so much, and he seems to move and wake more throughout the day. Yesterday in church he was awake for the morning service and the evening service...so cute...just wiggling all over the place. I can't believe we are getting so close to the time of holding and kissing him. None of us can wait. Katie just loves him, and gives my belly hugs and kisses at random, telling her baby brother that "this is Katie and I love you, Asher" Kris talks to him, and I sing and talk to him. Katie prays for him. I can't even imagine the joy of all four of us in the hospital room together for the first time...that is a moment that I look forward to...so very much. So we have 7-8 weeks left to go if he waits for full term. In a way, I hope he comes a tad early, just to avoid a 9 pound baby, but I know that God will take care of it in his timing. On the other hand, the later he comes, the later I can stay home on maternity leave with Katie on her summer break. We are still praying for a miracle so that I can be a stay at home mama. I learned yesterday in Sunday School not to use prayer as a "last resort" but to pray first! I knew that, but somehow I guess I needed someone to give me "permission" to rely on prayer first. I know there are things we need to do to hold up the end of our financial responsibility, and we've been doing pretty good at following our budget. I know God has a plan!

Speaking of plans, Marilyn from our church Sunday School class called and wants to have a church shower for us on March 9th! Yay! I am so very excited! I know it sounds silly to be excited about "getting gifts" but I really just cannot wait! We have been so tight with our money, that I haven't just been shopping like crazy, and getting things for the baby will truly be helpful to us. I feel very grateful that we will be having baby showers...I am blessed.

31 weeks!

Wow--we are really coming in on the home stretch now--only 8 or 9 weeks to go! I am still feeling ok, but my fasting blood sugars have been a little high. Asher just keeps wiggling so much, Katie was totally cracking up watching my belly move this weekend. Just thinking about holding my sweet little guy makes me smile...

We had an ICE day yesterday, Katie didn't have school, so we got to spend an extra day together. It was nice. We had a good weekend together too. Kris and I both have commented the last few weekends that we've really been enjoying our time together. We've been staying home more, just being together. Some of our regular things we've been doing is curling up together on the couch and watching Mythbusters or Dirty Jobs from the Discovery channel. We have tons of episodes DVR'd--they are a lot of fun. We've been working on a 1000 piece puzzle for a few weeks--it's kicking our rear though--it's a hard one! Katie is the one who has found the most pieces! I don't mean to brag-but that girl of ours is SMART! She is so much more intelligent than Kris and I were at that age! She's amazing!

While writing my last post, I was really struggling with having faith and trust. I am starting to feel better about things, but I know I have a long way to go. The thing I am starting to realize is that I need to recommit myself to FULLY trusting God to meet my needs. I read this morning in the Bible that God knows my needs before I even ask him...I need to remember that every day. He--the creator of all things--the King of Kings and Lord of Lords knows MY needs. The way that I love and take care of Katie is so insignificant compared to the way that my FATHER loves and cares for me as his child. I just need to meditate on these truths...and believe.

Trust.

I'm having trouble with this one today, Lord...please help me.

On my fridge, I have a note, and it says, "Praise HIM when things are wonderful AND Praise HIM when the are not! Don't give up. Trust everyday!"

I think I need to read that about 500 times today.

In Joshua, 1:5, the Lord says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." And of course, Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Please, please, please Lord, help me understand how to trust you today.

I need to trust today.

Today.

This morning.

Right now.

Today.

Another sleepless night, and dr. visit update

I can't sleep. Last night I woke up at midnight, and was awake most of the rest of the night. I guess I am preparing for those sleepless nights when baby arrives. I have a lot of time to think during that time, and last night I couldn't stop thinking about doing something with women's ministry at our church. Kris had one of those nights the other night when he couldn't sleep, and was thinking about men's ministry. It's kind of crazy. Anyhoo...
I went to the doctor's office today. Dr. was delivering a baby but I saw the nurse and she did the normal checks. I lost 6 pounds this week. I was shocked. I am not sure why. I have really been trying to watch my sugars, but I haven't really been eating too much less. She said that my ketones looked good this time, though. So I don't know what's going on. Baby Asher seems to be doing good. He has been a little squirmer--just wiggling so much. I love that feeling. I love this little guy so much, I can' t wait to see him. I just want to hold him. There were two brand new babies in the waiting room today, and I just can't wait to see our little one.

Woohoo-30 Weeks!

Since I am awake, anyway, I might as well post my weekly update-we're at 30 weeks this week! Yahoo!!! Only 9 or 10 more weeks to go! I am feeling good this week...much better than last week. I see Dr. again on Wednesday, to check my ketones. Hopefully I will get a better report this time. I am trying to drink my water, and keeping a close eye on my sugar. Yesterday at lunch time I had a few oatmeal cookies, and those really did not work out...I guess even sugar mixed with oats is not good. I just need to stay on the straight and narrow with that.

Tonight I woke up at 1am, and I really have no idea why. I decided to blog for a bit, and was looking at older posts. I listened to that BP/SE New Again song, and decided that I shouldn't keep it for just myself and my faithful (whole entire two people!!) blog readers. I hope no one thinks I'm a weirdo, but I sent a link to it to my whole entire address book...yikes...I am sure some will think I've lost my mind. I've been thinking about what exactly I've done to reach people, though, and well...I'm falling short. I need to reach people for Christ...that's what I am called to do.

Last night we went to the park and zoo. After receiving 13" of snow on Thursday, it was almost 70 degrees yesterday! It was beautiful. Katie and I got home, rounded up Kris, and we spent the evening walking through the zoo, playing in the park, and we even had a picnic dinner. It was really nice. I am so blessed to have those two...they are the greatest of all my blessings!

Thankful for $18.00

I was at Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon, just grabbing a sub, some jalepeno chips, and a few other things for our Super-Bowl Sunday, and I saw a Mom and three girls leaving the store. The mom looked tired, she had her littlest girl tightly in tow, and her two older girls were dragging their feet behind her. They had bought nothing, Their coats were dirty, and they all looked a little stressed. They caught my eye for some reason...and I wasn't sure why at the time. I went on my way, and paid for our food, while they left the store empty-handed (and what looked like empty-hearted). You know, I never leave empty handed, in fact, I usually leave Wal-Mart with more than I could ever need, and more than we ever finish, usually. I say all of this because we ARE, in fact, a little bit poor this week. Our budget was tight anyway, and I went ahead with obedience and paid our tithe. I have to confess that there have been weeks when I have held back our tithe check, so we could have extra money for the week. This week I went ahead and paid, and yesterday Kris was cleaning out the garage and found a Christmas gift that I had bought for Katie and forgotten about/lost. I still had the receipt, and he took it to WM to get a refund and buy an extra $18 in groceries for the week. I wonder what $18 could have done for that family? Would they have left WM in what looked like despair? Would it have helped them in any way? Gosh...seriously...if I could DVR time and go back to that moment, I would have loved to have had just a $100 bill to give them. We are so incredibly, abundantly blessed, and I take it so much for granted. I think there are times when the Lord wants me to learn a lesson on thankfulness...and this time I think I did. I am thankful for the milk, bread, oranges, and string cheese that Kris will bring home in the morning-truly thankful.

Dr visit update

I saw the Dr. today. I lost two pounds, and my keytones (sp?) were a little elevated from dehydration. I haven't been drinking as much water, because I don't like making 25 trips to the bathroom every day at work! She was happy with my blood sugars and everything, and I am measuring just fine. Asher's heartbeat was in the 130's today. She wanted me to not lose any more weight, and to drink more water and eat eggs and cottage cheese (seriously-that's what she said! :o) Funny suggestion, but it works for me...I love both of those! She wanted me to come back in one week this time, just to check the keytones. She said I was a good patient, and that I make her life easier. :o) I guess that's a good thing.

The last days of winter...in my mind anyway!

Ahh...January is over as of midnight tomorrow night. What a relieving thought! I know we still have all of February and sometimes even March for wintry weather, but I am just glad this month is almost over. February brings hope of spring. This morning I was reading the first chapter of 1 Peter, and I was reminded of a song by Acappella-Nita and Crystal-do you remember them? Gosh-there's nothing like that group to remind me of the hope and promise of spring. I am not quite sure why I link them together? Possibly because Crystal won an Acappella tape-Sweet Fellowship-I believe-at the Youth Group Easter Egg Scavenger hunt when we were all in grade school---that's a long time to keep a memory-I'm proud of my brain for that! That makes me happy. So...I just put in this cd, and ahhh...I feel happy and blessed...plus my nose feels better today.

I think I mentioned yesterday that there are only 10 weeks til our baby boy gets here-he's about all I can think about. I've been trying to get things at work gathered up, caught up, fixed up, and not messed up before I go on maternity leave. I am not sure who is taking my spot for the THREE MONTHS (!!!!!) that I will be gone, but I want to have it all ready for them.

Oh-and here is a little piece of 1 Peter that I love:

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1Peter 1:8-9

Even though there are struggles of this world, and sometimes we cannot see Jesus-we KNOW he is here with us, and that makes us happy, because we know we will be in Heaven with him someday. (my paraphrase)

29 weeks!

I'm feeling a little bit better today. My head still aches, but the crazy nose thing is tapering off. I really want to get back to being blessed and blogging---I've missed sharing my thoughts and joy here.

We're 29 weeks this weeks-about 10 weeks to go! I am so excited! I also spoke with my boss about taking 12 weeks off instead of 8, and it looks like that will work out! I am thrilled! I can't even imagine taking 3 months off with my boy-and my girl-two of the months I will be out will be on Katie's summer break! I'm looking forward to spending the summer at home. Yay! :o) I want to really savor and enjoy it, so I am going to try very hard to get organized before baby comes, so I can just enjoy the time at home. I know it won't all be peaches and cream, but I think I will always treasure that time at home. I don't know if I will get to ever be a SAHM, I don't know if Kris will get a new job, I don't know how we will afford daycare if I have to go back to work, but I know God has a plan-HE's the MAN with the PLAN!

I see Dr. tomorrow, and I will for sure be asking her what in the world the pulling feeling is clear accross the top of my belly. I am not sure if Asher is just growing so much, or if my body is just rearranging, but it has really been worse lately. There are times when it almost doubles me over, just because it aches...I'm sure everything is fine...I'm just old and whiney!

Well, I need to get a little bit of work done today (tons, actually) so I will blog more when I can. It's good to be back...I've missed being here.

Is it over yet?

Yikes...I cannot shake this cold. My head feels like it might just fall off! I see the doctor on Wednesday, so if I'm not better by then, I might have to whine and see if there is anything I can take. It seems worse in the evenings and the nights have been really tough.

I think it's because I've not been feeling well, but I feel a little depression creeping in this evening. I also think it's because it's the beginning of Kris's work week, and I miss him so much.

Tomorrow will be a new day, a Monday, but nonetheless, a brand new day.

One more day of not feeling so great...

Ugg...I will be glad to feel better. This has been a rough cold. It seems like it's better in the daytime, and then at night my whole head/nose/sinus go bananas...I can' t sleep, can't breathe...praying tomorrow morning will be better. I miss blogging about good stuff...so instead of writing a novel, I want to just list some things I am thankful for:
My family.
My parents.
The thought of having our baby in the springtime.
Clean laundry.
This baby boy kicking me.

Still not feeling well...

1 Peter 5:7 says,
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Thank goodness.

Germs...

The cold/flu germ has invaded...Katie and I have the beginnings of what looks to be a yucky cold. I will post again later when we are feeling better.

28 weeks!

This week marks 28 weeks of pregnancy, so we have 11 or 12 weeks to go before we meet our boy! Yay! I am feeling lots better, I have decided that it really is important for me to get rid of the sugar all together. I am still eating carbs, but obvious sugars have been gone for the past 5 days, and I do feel lots better!

My Bible reading this morning comes from 2 Corinthians 5:17:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I was looking for verses with the word NEW in them, and there were a lot. I am going to think about this verse throughout the day today, and maybe share some thoughts on it later.

holiday

Yesterday Katie didn't have school because of the MLK holiday. I did have to work, however, and had to go to a meeting in Pittsburg. I decided that Katie could come with me, and then we would have a fun lunch and shop a little bit. We went to the Mall Deli and had delicious bagels with munster cheese...so yummy! While we were there, we saw Pastor and Leah Sukraw from our old church-Pitt Naz. Pastor married Kris and I, and we attended there until we moved when Katie was 18 months old. They were so happy to see us. Leah's energy still amazes me. She wanted to know everything about how we were, etc. I found myself just talking 100 mph about the last 6 years in Independence, and they were so happy to hear that we were doing ok! I told her about Kris giving his life back over to Christ several years ago, and it had made him so much more loveable and our marriage so much stronger, we talked about baby Asher coming, and our 10 year anniversary coming up, they were amazed with how beautiful and tall Katie was, and with all of the good things and blessings that God has provided. Somehow, telling them about us made me feel more optimistic about things. Really, the move to "the country" was so good for us. Each time we visit Pitt, we affirm our choice in moving here. Visiting with Pastor and Leah was wonderful, but I think that might be the only thing I *really* miss. I don' t miss keeping up with the Jones, I don't miss the pressure of being in the main office, I don't miss Kris not being who he really is now in Christ. I wouldn't trade that part for anything...his salvation is so much more important than bagels, Jim's steakhouse, Lakeside Park, our beloved sunroom, and all of the good memories I have from living in Pitt. I will always have those memories as long as I am on earth, but our relationship with Christ is eternal.

Oh-and I got my hair cut and eyebrows waxed, so I am feeling much less furry...I was having fur issues because of the vitamins and hormones...I'm better now.

New Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NaSROohLzs

I love this song too.